Day 39.

October 25. 2014

It was Summer 2009 in Louisiana, we had been invited to a friends house for a usual weekend evening get-together.  A few close friends (friends that we happened to drink alcohol with) knew there was a reason that I was now not drinking alcohol.  We had to be honest with them - I was preggo.  And not a jar of pasta sauce.  Well at this party there happened to be another "not jar of pasta sauce".  She fell asleep on the couch.  Actually I could have been the first one to fall asleep, I don't remember.  The point is, we both fell asleep on the couch in the living room by 9pm.  I had never met this girl before, but she was tall like me and we were both pregnant.  She was a lot louder than me - but she knew more people so I figured that was typical (I now know that's not true, she's just loud...)  anyway, we chatted a little about our similar situations and the next day I loaned her a copy of What to Expect What Your Expecting.  Or I gave it to her, again, doesn't really matter, what matters is I asked our mutual friend for her number and the rest is history!  I don't really remember hanging out much more at Polk (I'll have to grill her for her side of this story), they left shortly after we had our snuggle on the couch.  Somehow we managed to grow this relationship of ours long distance.  To the point that in April 2011 another very good friend of mine and myself (and Bug at 15 months old) drove to Florida from Louisiana to spend a 4 day weekend with her.  Then that Winter she came to Bug's baptism as her God Mother, and I got to attend JP's baptism in Maryland, that trip total was like 26 hours - that was a crazy crazy day.  She is sitting in Seattle waiting to board her last flight to see the kids and I for 5 days.  This is epic.  I have easily spent less than 200 hours in person with her and yet she is one of my very best friends.  This is why the Army is a beautiful thing :)

Here is a quick recap of our <200 hours together:

1) 1st meeting - slept on a couch together
2) I drove to Florida to see her - Met Staci (who I want to keep for the rest of my life too...), and broke JP's leg
3) She flew to Chicago and drove to MI with her Mom for Bug's Baptism - we (as in our whole families) got rip roaring drunk and really inappropriate the night before she left
4) Bug and I flew to Maryland for 26 hours - Bug projectile vomited on EVERYTHING in the back of the rental car.  It wasn't even Leanne with me - it was her Hubs.  On the flight home, I had to use every aspect of my being to keep my bodily fluids in, it was awful.
5) She flies from North Carolina to Alaska to see me - she misses her initial flight out of North Carolina because she read the itinerary wrong.

This is a nutshell is us.  We start out haggard and seemingly not right - but in the end we're meant to be best buds.  We're essentially the same person, have a very similar major life experience and and I'm not talking about the Army and two kids, excel at the same things, see the perspective that the other fails to see...it's good.

Now, enough of that side note.  More silliness to come over the next 5 days!

Today started with me hearing the reminder on my phone that tells me "It's time to leave if you want to make it to Yoga in time"  SHIT!  I flipped out of bed - poor Cat took the brunt of this reaction (he sleeps on my feet...) saw the clock said 9:04.  Class starts at 9:30.  I have two kids to wake and dress and feed so they will be content for an hour to be quiet.  They are not morning people.  shit.  It snowed last night.  The roads will be, well, shit.  We made it to the gym at 9:35, the two guys that were waiting for me were regulars and love the kids, so it wasn't a big deal to take 5 minutes to get them set up with their Wild Kratts and dry cereal.  Bug was still in P.J.s but I really didn't care.  Got in the car after class to see that the Hubs sprained his ankle.  The first time he's really gotten to play down there - I felt bad.  We get home, I start a fire - Leanne calls.  She missed her flight.  Oh, and one more thing - in the middle of a dish washing cycle the dishwasher overheated so badly I expected to see flames in the washer when I opened it.

WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY??!!!???

Fast forward a few hours, we roll with the flight changes and things pick up - she manages to make up time and as of the end of the day she is back on track to be here when we originally planned. The Hubs says his ankle is doing alright, and the kids painted.  A lot.  And washing dishes by hand wasn't as awful as I anticipated - I can't wait to teach the kids!  (insert maniacal laugh).  The three of us took a brief walk to the end of the road to stretch our legs after hauling wood, they really enjoyed it.  Mr took his shirt off all on his own for the first time (this is a big deal, usually me asking him to take off clothes, even his coat or socks, leads to epic temper-tantrums).

I'm trying to sneak into bed early since we have to get up and be to the airport at 0200 :)  Like I'm going to be able to sleep.  It's like Christmas when I was 5...except I didn't have any responsibilities when I was 5 the next day...damn.

Day 38.

24th of October

Today was a day of rest.  Miss Bug woke up coughing out her lungs, sounded like a cross between an elephant seal and a German shepherd.  No fever, but there are enough germs floating around in the world that I figured we should take a low profile day.  Bug had some lemon peach tea (really tea, not just hot water with lemon and honey in it), and she loved it.  We had a super insanely lazy morning as I planned a grocery list (and took into consideration that we'd have another mouth to feed soon!!!!)  The laziness ran into the grocery trip and we took so long in the store that the lollipop butcher (for lack of a better nickname) found the kids a second time, so they got double suckers!  This gentleman works in the meat department (so he always walks in wearing a rather stained white apron) and he is known for handing out suckers to the kids.  We also learned two summers ago that he is the umpire for the unit softball games.  I've never had anyone compliment my smile more than this gentleman, and it's not in a creepy way, he's very genuine.  Once we got home the laziness continued and we painted.  Using fall colors and taped canvases.  And we skyped with Dad and MeMe&Granpa, and had rotisserie chicken without forks or plates, and when that was over we made popcorn and watched Monster's Inc.

It really was a day of rest.  It was great.  I find myself up way too late though.  Early morning class followed by NOTHING!  Another good restful day, which I'll spend getting ready for the arrival of my best friend!  No, not that one - he has a few more weeks.  This is the best part of Army Life.  The battle buddies us spouses get to build over the years.  I'll tell a fun story tomorrow :)

Day 37.

October 23rd, 2014

An early morning earthquake shocked my heart into high gear.  I broke my Facebook ban from the day before to share the news.  A 5.0 magnitude that had an initial rock and then by the time they usually stop, this one didn't, it got slightly stronger enough that I felt I need to go to the kids.  It's surreal.  There's so much I've experienced here that I'd, without hesitation, label surreal.  The Northern Lights, being in charge of the indoor plumbing in a 40+ year old house, and now standing through an earthquake.

The world keeps spinning though, and on with our day we went.  The rest of that day went swimmingly.  I struggled a lot with planning for this trade show.  I didn't know where to start, I've know about it for months, and I just didn't know what I needed to be making or how I should display my so called talents.  This was also a part of the awful grouchy mood that struck me two days prior.  I was feeling wasted and unfocused.  My weight that usually keeps me grounded and focused doesn't do well from long distance.  And I'm not saying it's the weights fault - he's got a lot on his plate right now too :)

Last night in between the 2nd glass of wine I got productive and it all fell into place, the ideas started flowing.  What my door prize was going to be, what drawings I'd have at the table, how I'd explain the "type" of yoga that I teach...

The kids did great with their long-term (6ish hours) babysitter, and I had a great time chatting about the things I love with other ladies who needed that extra nudge into the world of better living!

Day 36

22oct2014

Everyone can rest at ease, I made it through my giant grouch mad at the world mood swing.  After two or three emails to the Hubs, caramel pretzels, and a glass, or two, or three of wine - don't forget a good night sleep.  I woke up feeling much better.  My feelings still stung a bit from having the rug pulled out from under me, but I had a new focus.  I had a trade show to prepare for!

I spent the majority of the morning designing a photo banner for my table.  It was tricky because my external hard drive seems to be corrupting pictures and most of what I needed is saved on said hard drive.  Uggh.  This situation (the corrupting pictures) I've been dealing with for about 3 weeks now with no fix.  This was the first layer that led to my heavy head yesterday.  Technology has always seemed to be that first layer of irritation.  Along with indoor plumbing.  Ugh...plumbing.  Some days it's so not worth it!  (yea, I said it...).

I would have snapped a few photos of my pre-schoolers doing their partner yoga - because that's a hoot and would make anyone smile - but I was too caught up trying to not let any of them hurt each other with their lack of coordination :)

I didn't snap a picture today, but I'll share yesterday's picture.  I didn't feel compelled to smile at anything yesterday, but I did take this photo as an example of how to build a bat.  It's something Bug started doing at home (she isn't a morning kid at school and doesn't get to make one) and I wanted to be able to help her do it "correctly".  Also, these bats that line the hallway at school are the source to some tremendous Mr giggles that everyone (the teachers and other parents in the hall) seem to look forward to :)

If they are still up next week I'll try to get a video :)

5 weeks.

21OCT2014

All I want to do right now is complain.  And not just whine, but be borderline angry and aggressive.  I'm mad.  I'm mad at everyone who has ever not followed through on their word.  At everyone who has done something inconsiderate at the expense of someone else's feelings for their own sake.  At anyone who hasn't realized how far out their circle of influence touches, or how heavy it weighs on those in their inner circle.  This really encompasses the whole world.  And myself.  I know.  The best part of my day (aside from waking up in a war-free area of the world, under a roof, in a warm house, with good health and two happy children) was listening to my husband talk about his difficulties properly formatting a paper for class.

For weeks I've been telling the kids, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  I am going to need to take my own advice here.  And I will please just remind everyone that reads this to really consider what does and doesn't come out of your mouth.  It's tiring to consider how those things you say and don't say effect other people, and you won't always be perfect at it, but I'm not asking you to be perfect, I'm asking you to just consider how someone may feel, even if it's just once a day.  Especially if that someone is close to you.  If you fail, apologize.  Hell, sometimes an apology isn't even necessary, just an acknowledgement that you didn't keep your word, or that you haven't told them "good job" enough, is sufficient.

Day 34.

Oct 20 2014

So, this is how I woke up this morning.  They pretty much moved in, books and blankets and all.  I think the Cat was pretty irritated to be put out.

Today's big events: 

Shortly after getting home from school we all experienced our first slightly disconcerting earthquake.  4.3 or 5 magnitude.  Not long enough for me to panic, and just as I realized it was an earthquake it was over.  Both kiddos felt it too.  Thankfully neither of them are really worried or panicked about it. 

My little Bro is now 1,000 miles closer to me, but it doesn't make me feel closer to him.  It kills me that I can't see him and my soon to be sister before the wedding.  Just one more thing that makes Alaska that much harder a state to bear.

Bug helped make dinner.  A delicious dinner at that!  I think what made it so delicious was the sunglasses...

  

Day 33.

OCT.19.2014

Party Time!!

I've been looking forward to our caramel apple party for almost 2 weeks.  This is really just an excuse to have a lot of melted sugar in different flavors in my house all at once.  And I got to catch up with two friends and their kiddos while we watched the young-ins make a disaster of themselves - All in the name of the holidays!

This, if you were ever curious, is the beginning stages of creating a lumberjack...stay tuned, you'll see.

The spread was delicious.  We had peanuts, coconut, pretzels, chocolate chips, marshmallows, & graham crackers as toppings and white chocolate, caramel, and milk chocolate to dip our apple slices in.

And the pumpkins, Mr loves them.  He tells me just about every morning.  "Mama, I luv da pumpins."

Remember that lumberjack reference?...Yes, I'm humming a Monty Python tune right now...

She ate apples too.  Ms. Chipmunk... She was very into dipping and decorating 3 slices at a time and then eating them after they were all completed.

An easy clean up (thanks to my awesome 3 pot crockpot), and an amazing dinner!  Ha, just kidding we had peas and mac'n'cheese before we busted out the apples.  I'm not completely awful :)

Day 32.

18oct2014

I'm starting to maybe, possibly, slightly, enjoy Saturdays.  Up until today Saturdays were just days that I usually came home from yoga to kids that were super happy to see me and I could say, "Ok, Dear, what do you want to do today?"  My Saturdays were reserved for the Hubs and us being a family.  So, being down a Hubs, I take semi-grouchy kids to class and hope they stay quiet, and by the time they get home they are groggy and a little more grouchy than "semi", and then I have an afternoon and evening time that used to be spent with my Husband to stare at, without said Husband.

Today wasn't that kind of Saturday :)  The cat got me to actually laugh out loud.

I can promise you, that he is not laughing out loud here...Bug sure was though!

This picture is really more for the Hubs.  I tried emailing him this and telling him I want all of these pendants (there are about 50 others, these are just 1/2 of the green colored ones), and how to contact the woman that makes them.  I was thinking Christmas...but I somehow managed to use the right number of SPAM trigger words and my email was not delivered.  Not even to the SPAM folder!  Anyway these are all hand made with polymer clay and about the size of a quarter up to a half dollar.  And I was mesmerized!  Bug thought they were candy :)

And this is our goofy kid.  We went to a bazaar on Post and she ran up to this display and said Mom, I need my picture taken with the animals!  Apparently, Bug was not the first child to say this and the photographer thought it was odd, but pleased all the kids seemed to be drawn to her display :)  It's a good thing all the pictures weren't pink...I might have lost my daughter!

We got to spend some time with friends at the bazaar, catch up with a few people and by the time we got home, I had enough things to keep myself busy and not bored, and when bedtime arrived I was happy to rest, not happy that I could sleep and get the day over finally, and that's a nice feeling to not have :)

Day 31.

17th of October

Teaching these two kids how to communicate with each other and how to take care of things was not a small struggle today.  Just when I feel like we're making progress and they seem to hear me this time, I get an even more extreme reaction and not in the way I thought it was going!  It's a ridiculous roller coaster ride for me and I think they are just doing it on purpose to throw me off.

Now is about the time they start plotting against Mom and Dad, right?

Tonight Bug got to tag along to a birthday party while I went to class.  She's never done Lazer-Tag, she doesn't even understand the concept of a gun.  We struggle with the Wii remotes and the TV remote concept... But...

She loved it!  I walked into the "zone" to see about 20 kids (surprisingly calmly) following each other cheering or squealing.  It was just a happy fun sound.  A few adults got to partake and I don't think they made anyone cry.  Mr just followed the different groups of kids around until he found a stuffed Halloween spider on the floor and he picked it up and carried it through the maze constantly asking for his "Ca-kin".

She totally cracks me up.  I almost dropped my phone because I laughed so hard here.

Good ole' black lights :)

Day 30.

October 16th

I let the kids convince me to take them out for coffee and bagel sandwiches for breakfast today.  I may have planted the idea... But I knew it was a good idea when we were greeted with a cloud rainbow on the way out the front door.

Mr insisted on wearing his Wolf to go pick up Bug from school.  He proceeded to crack me up with his cheesy smiles :)

Psst, he has his Daddy's eyes :)

We ended a lazy day with pizza and Muppets (and a skype with MeMe & Granpa while the pizza cooked).  

Day 29.

15October2014

In the hopes of saving my dreaded Wednesday before it got ugly, I started the day with pancakes.

Breakfast was delicious, I think I just need Wednesdays to end immediately after we get home from school.  That's the only thing that would save Wednesdays from being miserable.

Finding that I didn't have coffee (just goes to show how addicted I am to it and the routine of making it) was a let down.  But I was up early enough for some quiet time before Bug came down asking for pancakes.

I'm not sure if it was the lack of coffee, or just my miserable sleeping habits over the last 4 weeks, but I was attacked by a nap at noon, and it won.  I'm not sure I've napped that early in the day since I had a small infant in the house!  The nap didn't really help me or anyone else, we all seemed to just be sleepy and out of it for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, I have the best boss in the world and the best set of clients on Wednesday nights to put up with my scattered self and my maniac children tagging along to class.

I won't even begin to complain about bedtime and that disaster.  We made it through the day.  And my Thursday afternoon plans have been canceled, so my tomorrow is wide open for catching back up on life!

One less Wednesday to live through, and one day closer to my BEST FRIEND COMING TO VISIT!  (don't worry Babe, I'm still counting down to you coming home ;-))  A best friend that I haven't seen since April 2011.  I think...has it really been that long??? Since the last time I was running a photo blog!

4 weeks.

FOUR.  WEEKS.  DOWN.  

Of course this day I woke up with zero patience, a grouchy mood, and a short fuse.  I noticed it immediately and decided that I needed to shake off the grumpy monkey on my back and replace it with my new self-splurge I picked up on Sunday.  

Isn't she pretty!?  And I'm totally talking about the scarf.  

The scarf seemed to work better than I anticipated.  By the time dinner rolled around of course Mama Grouchy Pants hadn't made anything (we did all split a really yummy spinach smoothie after school).  I wanted comfort food.  I've been craving comfort in general (since my usual "comfort" is so far away).  I searched the fridge for something easy and "comfy" and came up with bell peppers, summer sausage and cheese.  The kids got peanut butter on their peppers, Mom got kefir ranch dip for hers.  But it brought me back a little ways to the nights my Mom would make something I found inedible, and I'd get noodles with butter and parmesan cheese, or white rice and butter...that was the ultimate comfort food for me.  I'm so thankful that my kids scarfed down a whole bell pepper, a cheese stick, and 1/2 a summer sausage and asked for more bell pepper.

Yay Veggies!

Day 27.

13Oct2014

I didn't get up on the wrong side of the bed, just the alternative universe side of the bed...man.  I have no clue when the kids woke up.  All I know is Bug woke me around 10 saying she was hungry.  At 1010, the two crawled into bed and laid on me until 1035.  When I realized we had to leave for school in 2 hours, the fire had obviously been out for a really long time (cold house), I needed to fold towels for school, the poor cat hadn't been fed, and I had a few other to-dos to get done, I got my butt out of bed.

The kids were in a weird mood, Mr threw a fit over something insanely trivial and I suggested he go calm down up stairs.  This was at 11, when he never came back down 10 min later I went to check on him, found him snuggled in bed - sound asleep.  I had to wake him an hour and a half later to drive Bug to school.  He was happy and sweet the rest of the day.  Until about 5:30pm

Bug seemed to flip between "more cooperative than she has ever been" and "more stubborn than a mule" in a span of 4 seconds.  When it was time to leave for school, her response was (loud enough for Canada to hear) "I don't want to go to school!"  She was so obnoxious about it that I completely ignored her to go wake Mr, by the time I came down stairs with her brother, she had on her hat, coat, her gloves were next to her and she was putting on her shoes.  She never does this without me asking (and I have to ask about each item...)

Weird, I tell you.  The polar extremes seemed to culminate well in time for us to leave for CWOC.  Of course.  I know I ask a lot of them, these little kids of ours.  We turned their world upside over night without Dad, having to follow Mom's schedule...apparently this is their coping mechanism?

Are we half way yet???

(I'll add the picture as soon as my phone decides it can back up today's photos...grrr technology sometimes...)

Day 26.

October 12th 2014

We had to get out.  I needed a day that passed quickly without too much thought.  Lucky for me the Go Winter Expo was today!

Strapped Mr into the stroller and told Bug we'd find her balloons and some Jamberry samples at Ms. Brandy's booth.  First thing we found was the balloon lady!

After looking at the things he could choose, Mr wanted just a regular blue balloon.  He was pleased with what she came up with.

Miss Bug caught one glance of the face painting lady and she just had to get her face painted!

She thought about what she wanted, came up with "Frozen" and then threw in there "unicorn" when she saw the unicorn stamp.

We ended a rather relaxing day at a good friend's house to share dinner and some quality adult time.  So thankful for our community here.  (and that there are a lot of husbands in the field!) ;-)

Day 25.

11 Oct. 2014

The words "six weeks" were uttered tonight.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Doesn't sound bad, but doesn't sound like "tomorrow."

The sunrise was pretty on the way to class this morning.  

Kids wanted to help make soup after we got home.  

Bug proved to be pretty useful...

Mr, not so much...

Day 24.

10Oct14

This whole process of removing photos from Facebook has granted me the opportunity to walk back though time.  I never really looked at those photos until now.  Looking back almost 10 years and remembering vividly that night at the bar when I threw my arms around my best friends' shoulders and smiled from the bottom of my heart because we were carefree, we weren't in fear of our lives, we had submitted that 12 page paper and didn't care what grade we got, we couldn't really afford a round of shots, but we knew we'd figure it out.  Just a flood of memories that seem so recent. I've been through a lot of really specific and unique situations (some of them exceptionally awful) that only a handful of people can relate to, but I still have not been touched by as much as I could have been (I feel like I've led a rather sheltered - not in a bad way - life).  When my Grandma died she was over 90.  90 years of life - of memories - of images - of stories - sounds - smells.  That always used to blow my mind, changes like the automobile, what life was like in the 30s when she grew up, the great depression, and then what the world is now.  No wonder she shuddered every time I tried to show her a picture on my phone.

These thoughts just seem to be overwhelming today.  Does everyone else see this?  Is this a "phase" in life that everyone comes to?  Mom, Dad, did you guys go through this?  Get to this realization of what is really out in the world, that war and evil and fear existed, but you just never saw it before?  Or has the world just gotten really ugly in the last 5 years?  I guess the best way to go about this is to really live in the moment.  Or at least appreciate the moment.  I don't do that enough.  I spend hours planning for events or looking back at what we did and paid for to balance the budget and I never think about the very moment.  I hate making food, because I know I'm going to be back at the kitchen counter washing and cleaning in order to prep and make more food in 3 hours from now.  I feel like food making is a vicious cycle, and it is.  It's supposed to be - otherwise we'd die.  Instead of grumbling about the next meal before what I've made is even ready to eat, I need to bring myself back to that meal I'm working on.

Man, it's only 10am and this is where my brain is functioning...I'm either at my peak and I'm going to be mush for the rest of the day, or this is just the beginning and it's just going to get ridiculous by the end of the day...either way, I'm not sure I'm looking forward to 12 hours from now!

...........

Made it to the end of the day and my thoughts didn't spiral too far out of control.  They never seemed to wander far from this topic that seemed to weigh heavily on me this morning.  But I also feel like I'm missing something.  There's a reason my mind can't let this go, and I'm not sure why, I'm sure it will hit me like a 2x4 when the time is right.  I got to wrap up the night after teaching a class down in North Pole with the friend that watched the kiddos for me.  Instead of rushing off to get home and get to bed, I sat down and we all watched the last half of Frozen and I got to eat pizza.  It was relaxing and pleasant and much needed.

The only picture I took today was for an event I'm planning.  See even after specifically thinking about it this morning, I rolled right into more planning for the future.  I mean, I really like it.  I think I'm good at it.  But too much of anything isn't good (even if the thing itself is good), I know that.  Always learning.  Always working to be better!

  

Day 23

october 9th

Whew.  This Mama's tired.  I finally got my butt out of bed in time to get some work on the business.  I love being a stay at home mom, with my "own" schedule, and being able to build my own business with my own hours.  But I'm a horrible boss.  It's a good thing I've got a helpful friend who can keep poking me and a husband who I can't let down!  It's just harder when both of them are thousands of miles away from me and neither of them can actually drag me out of the cozy warm bed that I find myself glued to every morning...

I had some rare playtime with the kids - Bug and I brushed ponies' manes and tails while Mr tried to pack all the remaining ponies in the back of the zoo truck and drive them violently across the back of the couch.

We had a super quiet dinner.  Which is weird.  Usually it's the loudest part of the day.  But it was quiet enough that I could hear the table vibrate.  It took me a second to figure it out, but I looked under the table on the chair next to me and saw this:

Don't know what he was so content about, but the purr was a-going something fierce.  This dude cracks me up.

Day 22.

8 October.

3 full weeks have gone by.  That's almost a month!  I think things seem to be going quickly.  Though the end of the week seems to drag.  By Friday, I'm going to want to bang my head against the wall.  I dislike the weekends the most.  As would anyone going through a deployment or involuntary separation.  It makes sense, I used to cater the weekend activities to Dad and what he wanted to do while he was home from work.  Now I don't have that...and I'm so lost.  Too much time, and I'm not "free" enough of the kids to be able to dive into a huge project with that free time.  So it's luke warm.  And I want to spit it out.

But I should stop, this is getting slightly depressing and that's not the intent here!  So, moving on.  As Wednesdays are becoming my least favorite day - they are just long and draining, especially on the kids.  I pick up Bug late in order to teach a yoga class to her after school mates.  Today I came up with "Dance Yoga".  We discussed and practiced a few poses and then I played a song and they got to dance on their mat (this was amazing!!) when the song stopped, I called out one of the poses and they had to do it.  It was a huge success!  They loved it, they got to burn some energy (usually they are so spent by the end of the day), and they did more yoga during this session (with a big inhale and exhale after all of them got into the pose) than any other so far :)  So that 45 min was great, but tiring once I had to wrangle my two into the car, get home to make dinner and rush off to the adult yoga class (which is during their bedtime - so I'm worried about them exploding at some point during the class).

Tonight I decided to "noodle" some zucchini with my new kitchen tool.  To my surprise after you "noodle" 95% of the vegetable, you're left with two bi-products.  I did not anticipate them, and for some reason they struck me as funny.  The kids watched the noodling process in amazement, and when I produced the two odd looking remnants, they both exploded with big belly giggles which of course, I couldn't help but smile at :)

By the way, they loved the zucchini noodles!  

3 weeks.

Tuesday. 7 October.

A pretty quiet day at the Igloo.  It's getting harder to heat the house solely with wood.  I need to get plastic on the windows.  

Not much to report, I didn't do any deep thinking other than, "should I mix the darks and the lights to save myself a 2nd load of laundry?".  Dad is a little stressed, they have a lot of work due this week.  Nothing is harder than wanting to help someone you love and not be able to :)

I walked into the kitchen to start dinner and found this dude, just chillin'.

This cow is about 3 years old, maybe a smidgen older.  He is well loved and well built!  I've never had to re-inflate him after the initial one the day he arrived in the mail.  And these two are not gentle with him...  Bug fell in love with a friend's during a play date and I mentioned it to MeMe later that day, and sure enough a few weeks later for Bug's 1st birthday - it arrived.  Mr calls it "goat".  Not sure why.  I believe the mask is actually Cinderella's dress-up crown.  Also notice the ingenious hair tie over the horns to hold the sunglasses in place.  Silly kids.  Thanks for making Mom smile :)

Day 20.

6 OCT 14

I don't want to say I am capable of homesteading.  But I think I truly might like to be.  I wouldn't have even been able to tell you what that meant until like 6 months ago.  One of my favorite things about being in Alaska has been the truly eye opening perspective I've gotten when it comes to living.  Even in what is known as a "city" here, it's not like the rest of the world, or at least Louisiana and Michigan... I've been exposed enough to the idea of a dry and wet cabins, that the idea of living in one doesn't scare me, or blow my mind.  After having to work as hard as I (we-Chad helps too) do to maintain and heat a 3,000sq ft home, a 700sq ft cabin that has 1 toilet, 1 shower, 1 sink, a handful of lights, and a wood stove is...wait for it...appealing.  Maybe more intriguing, but I would try it given the chance.  If the house sells before we have orders and need to find a place to stay for a few months - I'm going to see if we can find a wet cabin!  The simplicity draws me in.  The control over what goes in and on my food before I eat it.  I'm learning so much, I love it!  The crazy part is that this is probably the HARDEST place in the U.S. to homestead and be self sufficient.  But so many people do it!  I guess out of necessity.  It's worth the long term investment to build a beautiful green house and grow to sustain yourself through the winter, because it's so expensive to ship food here, and even then if it's a bad winter - it's not guaranteed!!!  No lettuce.  None. For weeks possibly.  I've never lived somewhere that that was a situation you could run into at the store.  Big stores could probably fly produce in if it got that bad.  But still....crazy.

I'm going to miss the array of fresh food come this winter.  It gets hard, especially since winter lasts so long...

I've started dabbling in this homesteading concept (maybe, I'm probably 15 years off from being considered "homesteading" - and that's if my husband would let me!) and I've gotten into growing Kefir Grains, which are insanely easy and ferment milk so quickly that I've had to come up with ways to use the Kefir Milk.  So I now make all the bread we use from Kefir Milk, ranch dip is made from the Kefir, delicious smoothies, and cream cheese.  The probiotic benefits are so much better than anything you could buy in the store (to meet store standards much of the probiotics are killed, seems kind of pointless).  The newest addition to the family is Kombucha.  Which the kids LOVE!  I have made my first brew (after a little failure at first) and I now have these three bottles resting and building up a little carbonation.  The tea is sweet (hoping to use it to satisfy some of my Oreo fix), and it is jam packed with probiotics of all kinds.  I can flavor it just about anyway I choose, and I can make it with caffeine or not.  I'm just tickled pink at the world of opportunity here!

Day 19.

5 october 2014

There was one moment that I immediately flashed to when I found out I was pregnant with Bug.  It was an image of me when I was 15.  (Insert ominous music here...)

Of course with just about every month after a baby is born, a Mom often thinks 2 things to herself: 1) Where is the manual for this thing???  We put a man on the moon, why can't we figure out babies?! and 2) Why didn't someone tell me about this?  "This" can be anything from the fact most women poop during labor to the realization that you'd one day prefer the screaming 3 month old at 3am to the self-centered, stubborn, mean, smart-ass 4 year old trying to win an epic staring contest with you.  The "What to Expect When You're Expecting" books cover pregnancy up until I think 2yrs old.  But after that, no one seems to mention that it gets A THOUSAND TIMES HARDER.  So much so, that no one can seem to write a single book of rules that everyone agrees is the "way to do it".  The less than 2yr phase is so much more clear and concrete than the abstract world of a Child's Mind.  And you wouldn't know it unless you've seen both worlds.  Or at least I didn't.  I'm not sure I would have believed someone if they warned me.  Maybe that's why we don't talk about it.

Around the time Bug turned 20 months, she entered this phase where I often thought to myself, "I don't know this kid!"  And I've always hoped it was a phase she would out grow.  So far, not really.  Here we are almost 3 years later and the "foreign-ness" of her attitude and actions has changed as she has grown, but it's still as foreign.  Which is weird because we've been living with this for 3 years - you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

My greatest fear is the same as everyone else's, that we'll fail her as parents.  I know just considering the possibility and saying it out loud likely means we never could, but it drives my decisions and keeps me pursuing options and ideas.  But it's a daily struggle for me, trying to figure out how to combat the phrase, (said in the most whiny tone possible) "But I don't want to clean up my toys!"  followed by, "Then I don't want to have any toys."  followed by, "But I just don't want to do ANYTHING!!"  If there is this much drama in her voice now, God help me in 10 years.  I think our home will just implode...

I got a glimpse of the "helpful" 4 yr old.  We had friends coming over for a casual dinner and I asked (knowing she would whine and say no) if she would set the table.  Without hesitation she started pulling out place mats.  I told her we'd have 6 of us so we'd use little yellow table for her and my friend's oldest girl.  This was the last instruction I gave her, and this is what she came up with.  She even brought the table into the kitchen :)  What struck me was how she adjusted the place mats to fit the table.  She seems to have a very hard time problem solving if she is irritated or frustrated or distracted even the tiniest bit.  I am so sick of saying, "stop yelling and whining and find a solution to your problem."  (asking for help is one of those solutions, she just refuses to do it!).  It's nice to see that maybe we're on the right track, and she is hearing me one time out of every 300 times I say it.

Day 18.

4 October 14

The first true snow of the year.  Kids woke up in good spirits and we eager to take a quick romp through the snow before heading to yoga with me.

On the way home I suggested we play outside and then realized no one had any gear.  Bug left her winter coat at school and Mr didn't have snow pants.  I had been considering a Once Upon a Child visit to get the kiddos some better fitting pajamas, so maybe it was time to stop and do a little shopping.

That's what we did, I always get some really great things when I go, for a really good deal too!  So we spent the later part of the morning playing outside.

We were also able to squeeze in an impromptu visit to a photographer who wanted to shoot in the freshly fallen snow.  I would have done anything to have Dad along with us, but I think she got some really cute ones of the kids for some Christmas cards :)

We thanked Lindsay again for the pizza, as we had the leftovers from Friday night.  Baths and a skype date with Dad before bedtime.  Bug even brushed all of her hair, all on her own for the first time! (without complaining!!!)  Not a bad way to end the night.  I could think of a better way, but I won't wallow in self pity.  That's no way to end the night :)