Day 243 Jun.17 2011

Bug met her first cows today.  I got to spend a quick minute with some of my family on my Dad's side.  My dad's aunt and uncle were in town and wanted to see everyone.  The house that hosted the get together had three baby cows that lived next door.  Caitlin terrified the cows, but they enamored her.  Especially after they started 'moo-ing' for their dinner. 

I've always wanted a cow of my own.  One of my dream retirements would involve a ranch house with a herd of dairy cows, chickens, ducks-because they're cute, an expansive vegetable garden and all the money I need to happily care for all of my things...Yea, Chad, I know-I should probably get a job...:)

Day 242 Jun.16 2011

11 other kids (ranging in ages 5-15) fill most of my childhood memories with running a muck, torturing each other, arguing over whose water cup is whose, and blaming the next youngest kid for tracking the dirt into the house...

These 11 other kids are my cousins on my Dad's side of the family.  We seemed to spend every holiday, every weekend at the Lake, and every Sunday at church, together as one giant hysterical family.  Now that we are all "of age", we sit around and tell stories of the days of old like we were all college buddies back in the day.

We all grew up in our own little world.  The older kids were the cool ones, at least to Ben and I.  The triplets (the next three youngest cousins) were probably too young to understand "being cool".  We all understand how weird it is that we've all remained as close as we have.  We've all squished onto one queen size air mattress, ate nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for 3 days straight, we can all give you the hand signals for faster, slower, circles, and stop, we've picked on each other until we cried, laughed at each other until we cried, and over 20 years, we've all grown to know and love each other better than some siblings ever do in a life time.

Fran was the first to get married out of all of us, and the first to have a baby.  I was a year or so behind them, followed by Matthew about another year later.  I love that I can now have an "adult" conversation with the cousin I grew up with about the struggles and joys of raising a child.  All of us hope that our kids could grow up around each other the way we did.  It's not very likely considering the distance we have all put between us, but maybe with technology now a days they can have something similar.

This is Caitlin and Elena's (Fran's little girl) first encounter as toddlers.  It was very rewarding to see the two of them play together.  Even if Caitlin seemed to bring out the rambunctious side of Elena... :)

Day 241 Jun.15 2011

the honeymoon is over, i got put to work today.  went to walmart for 3 food items and walked out with shoes, pants, chocolate, bachelorette party items, and a few other miscellaneous items...i'm horrible.  we drove through the construction from hell to stop by my dad's office for a bit, then we went to my new favorite place in all the land...

horrocks.

they are a locally owned farm market.  they just installed their own wind turbine.  they are honest about the fact it provides less than 10% of their electrical power, but they're working on getting more.  this is what civilization is to me.  fresh fruit.  <insert angelic music> :) 

Day 240 Jun.14 2011

i feel like the first couple of days i get to michigan i have to suck in as much 'busy city' as possible.  i can't get enough of it.  this time it's a little different.  not sure why.  i do enjoy being here and seeing the difference.  but this time i'm not excited for it.  i'm not against it by any means, but it's just not as thrilling as times before.  i think part of it is caitlin.  i find myself more concerned with caitlin's car seat and if it's secure if any of these crazy drivers hit us, or that the car driving through the neighborhood isn't going 25 mph, it's going 30 and doesn't seem to notice us on the sidewalk.  yup, i'm old.

i hope though that i never get 'too old' for the greatest college food in the world- lou & harry's.  it's what i picked for dinner tonight.  and it was fantastic in every way shape and form!  :)

Day 239 Jun.13 2011

pine trees
ice cream cones from quality dairy
driving through MSU
bicyclists EVERYWHERE
thin runners
not so thin runners
leafy green-ness
cool breeze
neighborhoods laid out in grids
pedestrians
restaurants galore
sams club
maple trees
hippies
sidewalks on both sides of the street
gentle sunshine


welcome to Michigan, home of civilization...

Day 238 Jun.12 2011

our time on the train was fantastic.  the food was better than expected.  and caitlin slept decently well.  i slept horribly, but i always sleep horribly on any form of moving transportation.  we took a good morning nap after breakfast and bug watched all of beauty and the beast with me after an early lunch.

we were in the same size car that we rode in at christmas which was roughly 7 months ago.  the car did not shrink, the child quadrupled... :)

Day 237 Jun.11 2011

i'm obsessive when it comes to planning, packing, and cleaning.  most of you already knew this-and if you didn't and have followed this blog-you know now.

my first train experience at christmas was not ideal.  this time around i covered all of my angles.  i was sure of it.  but i had no idea that asking the very nice woman behind the window for authorization for long-term parking would begin one of the worst and most distressing conversations i've had in a good while.  she very politely excused herself to go ask the other attendant (she didn't normally work at this station, so she wasn't familiar with the policy).  i was sure, after emailing Amtrak and informing them of my 4 week travel plans, that i was aware of the current policy and i just needed the little piece of paper to stick in the car window.

the gentleman that walked in the door is the same man who treated me so rudely back at christmas when it came to getting my bags on the train.  he informed me that they only authorize for 2 week parking.  he then walked away without another word.  my heart hit the floor, caitlin giggled, and i started saying (out loud mind you), "no, no, no, no, no, no.  that's not what the email said." about three times very quietly to myself.  i think the guy next to me started giving me weird looks.  the amtrak employee walked back inside and i asked him what my options were.  he told me to move the car to a personal property storage site.  when he realized i was staring blankly at him with my jaw hanging open he chuckled and said, "not my problem."  i immediately started rambling that i already emailed amtrak and they told me it was okay to leave the car here for 4 weeks, and i tried calling but there wasn't a phone number listed, and i can't take the car somewhere, i'm not prepared for that, i have a toddler strapped to my back...i'm crying by now, fyi.  his response to this was to set the pen he was using down and shrug his shoulders.

i'm not a rule breaker, i'm not even a rule stretcher.  i only wanted to leave the car there so matthew didn't have to drive 4 hours one way to drop me off and then do it all over again 4 weeks from now.  if i had known i wouldn't be able to leave the car there-i wouldn't have!  i would have made other arrangements.  but i was told it was okay.  what else can one do???  and this man took absolute zero pity on me, and almost seemed to enjoy my misery.  who does that?  i don't know how often people are treated with such disregard, but it's never really happened to me, and it should NEVER happen to anyone.  it was an absolutely crippling feeling.  i can understand if i hadn't prepared and not even looked into the parking options, yes, then i would be the idiot.  but i asked.  why wouldn't i trust a response from the company i'm traveling with?  who gives out false information and then doesn't offer to fix their mistake?!?!?

no one should ever be treated the way i was today.  he didn't even seem remorseful or sorry.  i like traveling on the train, and so does caitlin.  much more so than flying on a plane.  i like my feet on the ground.  but how do i ignore something like this and think it won't happen again?  what's the saying?  fool me once, shame on you.  fool me twice, shame on me...

Day 236 Jun.10 2011

i will probably never be able to express how astronomically great it is to have my cousin and his family only 2 hours away.  moving to louisiana was a big step for me.  before this move, i'd never been that far from home for an indefinite period.  but to get out of the little hole we call home for a weekend, or have someone who is always willing to take marvin when we want to vacation, or have them come visit us...it really truly has been life saving.  it's so cliché to say, but i don't know what i would have done otherwise.  i probably wouldn't be able to so easily call fort polk home, like i do now. 

my favorite part about rivet visits now, is having addison around.  all my friends are now pregnant and i've got the fever all over again.  just hearing her cry gets me my baby fix-in a good way.  call me crazy, but i miss that little helpless cry (compared to the "i'm just making loud sounds because i can" cry).  caitlin isn't sure what to do with addy (is this how we're spelling the nickname, M&M?) quite yet.  cate will bring whomever is holding addison a pacifier or something soft when she is crying-it's sweet. 

it's a hard can of worms to open-more children.  bug is getting so independent now, and i can only see our adult freedom increasing in the future.  but adding an infant to the mix obviously changes all of that...

decisions, decisions...:)

Day 235 Jun.9 2011

most of you have met our cat.  marvin.  if you ask my husband, marvin is my cat.  not ours.  not his.  i'm okay with that.  marvin will go down in my life history as one of the greatest sacrifices my husband has made for me.  i know that sounds really horribly silly when compared to obvious current sacrifice we find our selves in the middle of...but in the grand scheme of things it will make the list.

chad is very much not a cat person.  people that aren't cat people are not like those that aren't dog people.  i've found that people feel very much stronger about cats than they do dogs.  i honestly don't really remember making my desires about owning a cat that obvious, but i guess i inadvertently did somehow.  there were two things i wished for growing up when i saw the first star in the sky at night.  a cat and a sister.  so i wouldn't be surprised if subconsciously it worked its way into the conversation more often than not...

not only was marvin a childhood dream come true, but he turned out to be such a unique cat.  i've raved about him before and i'll save everyone a repeat of that torture.  but he really is a great cat that has taken to caitlin, a lot.  now that she has honed her motor skills a little bit, and they can occupy the same space without poking his eyes out, they have found a really happy relationship.  this week hasn't been one of my better ones-i think that's been obvious.  and this big drawn out introduction i'm typing is to say that today was one of those mornings that i was thrilled beyond imagination to have a cat that enjoyed interacting with our little girl.  i know i've been failing a little bit when it comes to always showing cate the happy side of mom, and watching these two play with a cardboard box really took a lot of the load off of my shoulders.  it's already one of the greatest things to watch caitlin happily interact with someone or something other than myself.  and these two playing with the string, getting in and out of the box, tackling each other...was like warm honey on a sore throat.

thanks marvin, remind me to get you some cat nip soon! :)

Day 234 Jun.8 2011

i'm sure nights like tonight are not going to be a one time occurrence over the next 10 or so years.

the girls i've met here at fort polk will always have a special place in my heart.  i remember being TERRIFIED the first day chad went to work.  i felt so utterly alone, like no one knew we were there-or even cared.  it took me a very long time to meet the friends i now hold so dear.  tonight was the last night we all got to spend together, just us girls.  jayme and her family are pcsing to ft. bragg, north carolina.  it's going to be a great move for them, they've got baby number 2 on the way and they will be so very close to home.  i am over the moon happy for them. 

this week has made me realize that the environment we live in will play a very large roll in they types and strength of relationships we will build with people we meet.  here at fort polk, most of you have learned there isn't much to do.  our idea of fun is sitting out on the back porch, or if it's too hot, a board game inside...there aren't places to go unless you fancy topless bars.  there aren't even sit down restaurants for double dates.  so what did i mean by the environment effecting the relationships we build? i imagine the relationships we make/made with people at this base will be/are based solely on conversation and personality.  there isn't any kind of 'event' to distract or bring people that aren't quite compatible, together-if that makes sense.  the only thing we have to do is sit and stare at each other-you have to really like someone to just sit and stare at them over and over :)

it will be exceedingly hard to say good bye to these women that i've gotten so close with over the last year.  at least we all know what we've gotten ourselves in to and we're already starting to prepare for next years good byes.  i wish all the best luck and love and wishes to jayme and her family.  the military is a small world, there is always hope that i will have another opportunity to kick your butt at wii 'just dance'!

love ya girl! :)

Day 233 Jun.7 2011

hello productivity.  my name is libby.  oh, yes, we have met before, it's just been a very long time since we've seen each other.  well, welcome back and please make yourself comfortable and stay as long as you'd like!  we're glad to have you :)

Day 232 Jun.6 2011

i used to get the garfield comic emailed to me on a daily basis.

i found him to be very spot on when it came to so many things.  his feelings toward mondays was one of them.  one of my favorites was garfield holding a paper and pencil thinking: "I'm working on an ode to Monday...but I still haven't found anything that rhymes with..." and you see him sticking his tongue out, followed by, "PHHHHHHHHT!!!"

well done mr. davis.  i don't even have a job that works on a normal week schedule and i still hate mondays for some reason.  they're not always bad, they just have that overwhelming blah to them, more often than not...

this picture just goes to show how the 'monday-curse' has even found a way to 'blah-ify' my photos...i couldn't quite capture how she had slumped herself over when she fell asleep.  it was really cute with a book in her lap, a teddy bear tucked under the arm you of course can't see, and i know she looks awake-but she wasn't.  just another oddity...it's going to be difficult to throw a smile on the end of this update...but i will, because there's no reason to frown at anything that happened today and that in and of itself is enough of a reason to at least slightly smile :)

Day 231 Jun.5 2011

caitlin found her mom's favorite stuffed animal from when she was a little girl.  he's in rough shape and really needs a good washing, but he's not washing machine friendly.  he's not even as soft as the other stuffed animals that they make now a days, but she's hooked.  i'm not quite sure what the draw to him is-but i'm okay with it.

had some girlfriends that i haven't seen in a while over tonight.  i made my famous beef and rice enchiladas.  i also tried my hand at cheesecake.  i didn't fully read the recipe (just the ingredient list) and assumed there would be a lot of baking and intricate directions and it would be really complicated.  nope.  3 steps and zero baking.  and it was DELICIOUS.  this is good and bad.  who doesn't want to be able to just whip up a cheesecake out of nowhere? but on the other hand, who really needs cheesecake around all the time at the drop of a hat?  i suppose anyone that is going through a deployment does :)  

Day 230 Jun.4 2011

a full week before we head north. seems really far away. 

i'm very familiar with the phrase, "just hurry up and wait".  anyone associated with the army has heard that a few times.  that seems to be the overall theme for me these past couple weeks.  i don't even have the motivation to try and pass the time, all i want to do is just sit and wait.  4 months doesn't sound like a long time at all, i should be able to sit and wait patiently for that to pass...this week-should pass quickly, i should be able to sit tight and it will be here in no time. 

i sometimes wish i wasn't as aware of myself as i was and i couldn't tell when i'm lying to myself. 

...sigh...

today we attended a baby shower for a friend down here.  she has 3 girls already (18, 16 and 7 years old) and now she's having a little boy!  they're elated :).  i'm so jealous, having a kid with 3 live in nannies!  and the girls are great with caitlin and abigail.  it was a nice way to pass sometime this afternoon.  not a good way to release some caitlin energy though...running around a small room didn't quite cut it so we ran through the sprinkler in the backyard for a bit.  best 3.99 i've spent in a while! :)

Day 229 Jun.3 2011

i grew up a few miles south of the 45th parallel.  i'm used to cold.  and not just chilly, but constant-irritating-chapped lips cold.  for this reason, people in louisiana think i'm immune to the cold.  this couldn't be farther from the truth.  for some people i suppose this could be true.  in my case, it seems that for every 1 year i spent 7-8 months out of the year in 2 or more layers of clothing, it added 2 years of a "cold debt" to my life.  this means i must spend 1 year in incredibly hot weather to make up for 1 year on the debt.  as you can see it's a two steps forward, one step back kind of process.  this by no means doesn't mean i can't function with a "cold debt"...if that were the case i'd need to spend 46 years in the deep south without any cold years in order to function and that's just not practical.  what this does mean is that i will probably never be immune to cold and will always grumble when i have to put on two pairs of socks, a snow hat, gloves and go scrape snow off the car. 

i will never take for granted days like today.  when the sidewalk is too hot to walk on with bare feet.  when even from behind the clouds the sun is scorching hot.  when the neighborhood center holds a pool party in celebration of opening the pool, and they provide music and free hot dogs and free snow cones and a giant water slide.  and no one, not even little toddlers have goosebumps from it being slightly chilly :)

Day 228 Jun.2 2011

well we are 10 days into post R&R.  i feel like i shake the funk off, but i can't seem to get more than a day in a row that is funk free.

10 days into the deployment i was babbling on about reptiles.  hmmm.  those first 10 days (oddly) were easier than these last 10...maybe i'm holding too much expectation for what i should feel?  my only thought is that i need a change of scenery.  i love my routine, but i think we need a break.  it's a good thing we've got a big trip coming up in a week or so...hopefully that will allow me to refocus my energy, or thoughts, or inner fibers-whatever one adjusts to find their balance again.

i never grew up around pools.  in my head they were in the same category as pizza ordered out and cable tv.  anytime i was in the water it was a river or a lake or more commonly, a sprinkler.  i have more memories of floating the betsy river in muskegon, or swimming in bass lake at the cottage than of being in a pool.  and i'm completely okay with that.  i only hope that our kids will grow up with memories of crystal clear rivers and lakes as well.  i hate to get all hippie, but i really do worry that some of those 'luxuries' that i had growing up won't exist when caitlin is ready to experience them.  i imagine that we will see a day where all public swimming locations will always have to be chemically treated for them to be considered safe...or we'll have to wear swim suits that cover our whole body, shoes and all, and you won't have the bare sand feeling between your toes...

i really do wish the best for these cool kids.  and that they will all have the opportunity to grow up with sand between their toes :)
 

Day 227 Jun.1 2011

pool closed for weekly maintenance today...gak.

we substituted the pool for a playdate at the club house this afternoon.  chase and ryanne run around playing with toys, drag them across the floor, share with each other and babble incoherent sounds back and forth at each other.  caitlin on the other hand insists on sitting in my lap and scowling at them like they are silly and weird.  i'm not sure what this means.  but it makes it difficult to carry on adult conversation.  the best part is, once we get home, she's oblivious to me...someone analyze that.

i'm not so sure why i'm feeling burnt out, but after we got back from the club house and caitlin, a.k.a living room destroyer, did her worst to the living room, we both crashed pretty hard.  cate went down around 3:30, i was in my bed around 4 and the next thing i remember is rolling over and looking at the clock and reading 6:30.  what?!?!  since when do i take 2.5 hour naps?  it wasn't an even fully restful sleep, i remember thinking, 'when did i go to bed?, what day is it?, why am i even in bed?'.  no fun waking up disoriented.

we had an equally lazy evening of PB&J (with farmers market blue berry jelly) and pirates of the caribbean.

oh, and by the way, ryanne was saying 'eeezzzeee' during the picture.  her version of 'say cheese!' :)

Day 226 May 31 2011

another month has come and gone.

may is one of my favorite months.  in michigan by the start of may you can pretty much guarantee that there won't be anymore snow.  the weather may not be hot, but it's the start of summer weather, the worst is over.  the weather down here isn't quite the same...the month of may in the deep south means you can pretty much guarantee you won't see a drop of rain until sepetember, but the pool opened this month = silver lining.

may is the month for graduations- big finishes to extraordinary accomplishments.  this month i got to see my husband for the first time in 6.5 months.  this month i've learned to struggle with and swallow some of the hardest emotions that i've ever been faced with.  this month we started talking about the possibilities of our new home and new children.  may seems to always be the start of the end, the beginning of great transitions.  this may opened the door to the tail end of the deployment.  it will probably be one of the hardest transitions we as a family will ever go through, but in the end, one of the most rewarding.

i graduated from college in may 2007 and it was the month i was offered my first real life, full-time job.  it was also the beginning of one of the best learning experiences of my life.  the next 7 months taught me more about myself and what i wanted out of life than i could have ever expected.  it lead to one of the hardest and greatest decisions of my life-calling off an engagement and subsequently a 2.5yr relationship.

the diaper cover caitlin is wearing is an antique, i used to be behind the chips when i was her size too.  and 25 years later, look what it got me :)