Hey Folks,
After a slight hiatus to adjust back to our new reality (which has been phenomenal!), I'm starting a new blog to document our upcoming PCS to Alaska and future adventures we hope to partake on through the rest of our Military career!
Please feel free to update your blog lists with my new link! http://journeysendathome.blogspot.com/
Here's to the new journey!
-Libby
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03 March 2012
27 October 2011
Day 365 Oct.17 2011
Well, the 17th was day 365. I would like to say that I waited to post the last blog on purpose, but I won't lie. Having another person in the house to consider and take account of is rather distracting for me. I'm not worried that I won't adjust, but it took more than 5 days for it to happen :).
Anyway, today is the 24th of October, and we are a full week past day 365. It is also the first day I've had back to myself since he's been home. And now that I've had my alone time that disappeared over night two weeks ago, I realize it is very necessary for my ability to function at the level I was during the deployment. Since Chad's been home, I am forgetful and (compared to last month) not very productive. These are not bad things given the circumstance. I knew there would be that "period of adjustment" everyone kept talking about, and I expected it to be very different from what I had been used to even back before the deployment.
The key to enjoying your "adjustment period" is to,
1) not have set expectations (weird, I've never said that before...)
2) allow yourself a 5-10 day period where nothing really matters.
I won't explain 1)-I think that is a dead horse, and I don't like to beat animals.
I will however delve into concept 2)...
These are simple things, but ones easily overlooked or not considered.
-Don't plan any big parties where you will feel the need to have yourself organized, and tidy. You will stress yourself out to the extreme. Especially if you are someone that has slight OCD tendencies.
-If you don't talk to the friends you "lived" with during the deployment during those first 10 days...it's okay, they understand, don't feel like a horrible person for not including them, or forgetting to call them back.
-Don't rush anything. There is no time limit anymore. He's not leaving in 15 days like he did last time. You don't have to cram in your thoughts and activities. He'll have the opportunity to see all the things you did over the last year, or try the new meals you planned for him, don't overwhelm yourself (or your bank account).
-Yes this is a celebration, to be back together in the same house (now for a minimum of 19 months no matter what unit you go to!!!), but you still have to be practical and logical.
When you come out of your 10 day adjustment period, you can begin to look at how to mesh your worlds again. In the last 10 days you would have hashed out some major issues (if you were both honest with yourselves) and you can now look at what that means for the rest of your lives. If that's finding a new food routine or finding out how to live with PTS symptoms.
With Chad back to work, I've had my free time to explore the input he gave me on the new topics I brought to the home during the deployment. It's starting to seem a little bit more real that maybe he is staying this time. These were the days I dreamed about, not the 24 hours of uninterrupted time together, it was having our routine back, waiting for him in our Home when he got back from work, cooking the whole family dinner while Dad and Daughter played in the backyard.
I'm not saying we are back to perfect, who's to say we will ever be perfect...we are human. But we ran our marathons and completed them without any major issues. Cheers to us! And thank you to every single friend or family member or complete stranger that said a prayer, or sent a supportive thought our way. If I keep going this is going to start sounding really cliche. The little things are really what got me through this last year, I may not have mentioned it at the time, but it never went unnoticed by myself or Chad.
When I come up with another blog, I'll check back in here and let everyone know. I feel as if I can't blog without a specific purpose (and what our family does on the weekends, isn't a focused enough topic for me to blog), so when that purpose presents itself, you all will be the first to know :) I'll gladly take suggestions too!
Anyway, today is the 24th of October, and we are a full week past day 365. It is also the first day I've had back to myself since he's been home. And now that I've had my alone time that disappeared over night two weeks ago, I realize it is very necessary for my ability to function at the level I was during the deployment. Since Chad's been home, I am forgetful and (compared to last month) not very productive. These are not bad things given the circumstance. I knew there would be that "period of adjustment" everyone kept talking about, and I expected it to be very different from what I had been used to even back before the deployment.
The key to enjoying your "adjustment period" is to,
1) not have set expectations (weird, I've never said that before...)
2) allow yourself a 5-10 day period where nothing really matters.
I won't explain 1)-I think that is a dead horse, and I don't like to beat animals.
I will however delve into concept 2)...
These are simple things, but ones easily overlooked or not considered.
-Don't plan any big parties where you will feel the need to have yourself organized, and tidy. You will stress yourself out to the extreme. Especially if you are someone that has slight OCD tendencies.
-If you don't talk to the friends you "lived" with during the deployment during those first 10 days...it's okay, they understand, don't feel like a horrible person for not including them, or forgetting to call them back.
-Don't rush anything. There is no time limit anymore. He's not leaving in 15 days like he did last time. You don't have to cram in your thoughts and activities. He'll have the opportunity to see all the things you did over the last year, or try the new meals you planned for him, don't overwhelm yourself (or your bank account).
-Yes this is a celebration, to be back together in the same house (now for a minimum of 19 months no matter what unit you go to!!!), but you still have to be practical and logical.
When you come out of your 10 day adjustment period, you can begin to look at how to mesh your worlds again. In the last 10 days you would have hashed out some major issues (if you were both honest with yourselves) and you can now look at what that means for the rest of your lives. If that's finding a new food routine or finding out how to live with PTS symptoms.
With Chad back to work, I've had my free time to explore the input he gave me on the new topics I brought to the home during the deployment. It's starting to seem a little bit more real that maybe he is staying this time. These were the days I dreamed about, not the 24 hours of uninterrupted time together, it was having our routine back, waiting for him in our Home when he got back from work, cooking the whole family dinner while Dad and Daughter played in the backyard.
I'm not saying we are back to perfect, who's to say we will ever be perfect...we are human. But we ran our marathons and completed them without any major issues. Cheers to us! And thank you to every single friend or family member or complete stranger that said a prayer, or sent a supportive thought our way. If I keep going this is going to start sounding really cliche. The little things are really what got me through this last year, I may not have mentioned it at the time, but it never went unnoticed by myself or Chad.
When I come up with another blog, I'll check back in here and let everyone know. I feel as if I can't blog without a specific purpose (and what our family does on the weekends, isn't a focused enough topic for me to blog), so when that purpose presents itself, you all will be the first to know :) I'll gladly take suggestions too!
24 October 2011
Day 364 Oct.16 2011
Brunch as a family this morning! Well, we drove there and sat down as a family. I got Caitlin food while Chad sat with her, then Chad got food. Then I got food when Chad got back, and because I chose to wait in the slowest omelet line in the world, he was done eating by the time I got back with my food (Caitlin was pretty much done too). So I ate while the other two watched me. Eh, what are you going to do? At least we all get to sit in the same room!
So we're on Day 4 of life back together. I think I over prepared myself. I don't want to say I prepared for the worst, but I prepared for something similar. It all is just a swirl of surreal and comfortable. Everything feels so normal (like I mentioned before-like he never left), but the other half of me still insist on screaming at me that he was gone, and this isn't normal. Remember the post about having an argument with myself? This could be a repeat post...
I'm not sure what to name each side or portion of me that is doing the arguing. And this time there's more than 2 sides. Please don't report me to a psychiatrist...I swear, I'm sane. I have the:
1) "Happy elated, everything is great, don't think about anything but Caitlin and Chad" portion
2) "Tread gently, always alert, ready for something to jump out of the bushes and go wrong" portion
3) "Do what you need to do for you, you can't love others if you don't care for yourself" portion
I'm seeing three egos here, one focused on my family, one focused on being prepared, and one focused on self preservation. I've always had these three egos, I think, but it's just a matter of which one is running the show. For the last year, it was the third. I had me to focus on, I ran the house, I made all of the decisions about when to leave, what to do first, etc. Prior to the deployment, this third portion was pretty weak. What this deployment did for me was to bring out this third ego and learn how to manipulate and focus the 2nd ego. I'm now looking at all three of these portions of myself screaming to take the wheel. I'm going to need to develop a 4th that will act as manager and chauffeur apparently.
It's all about balance, right? No one said reintegration is easy. Maybe my 4th ego can be my husband...he's pretty good about keeping me honest and on track. It would keep my mind a little less crowded :)
So we're on Day 4 of life back together. I think I over prepared myself. I don't want to say I prepared for the worst, but I prepared for something similar. It all is just a swirl of surreal and comfortable. Everything feels so normal (like I mentioned before-like he never left), but the other half of me still insist on screaming at me that he was gone, and this isn't normal. Remember the post about having an argument with myself? This could be a repeat post...
I'm not sure what to name each side or portion of me that is doing the arguing. And this time there's more than 2 sides. Please don't report me to a psychiatrist...I swear, I'm sane. I have the:
1) "Happy elated, everything is great, don't think about anything but Caitlin and Chad" portion
2) "Tread gently, always alert, ready for something to jump out of the bushes and go wrong" portion
3) "Do what you need to do for you, you can't love others if you don't care for yourself" portion
I'm seeing three egos here, one focused on my family, one focused on being prepared, and one focused on self preservation. I've always had these three egos, I think, but it's just a matter of which one is running the show. For the last year, it was the third. I had me to focus on, I ran the house, I made all of the decisions about when to leave, what to do first, etc. Prior to the deployment, this third portion was pretty weak. What this deployment did for me was to bring out this third ego and learn how to manipulate and focus the 2nd ego. I'm now looking at all three of these portions of myself screaming to take the wheel. I'm going to need to develop a 4th that will act as manager and chauffeur apparently.
It's all about balance, right? No one said reintegration is easy. Maybe my 4th ego can be my husband...he's pretty good about keeping me honest and on track. It would keep my mind a little less crowded :)
21 October 2011
Day 363 Oct.15 2011
Road trip!
Kind of. We only went 60 miles down the road. We tried to time it with Caitlin's nap, but of course, she foiled that plan and never took her nap. We managed to:
*knock out a trip to the AT&T store to inquire about our upgrades
*stop at a Halloween store (and spend what felt like 2 hours there)
*browse Best Buy for 4 min
*attempt to find sandals for Chad (who according to me has funny shaped feet)
*eat a late lunch
*stop in 3 or 4 stores at the mall for Mom to try on jeans (big ordeal for me if you know my leg length to waist ratio)
*add 2 more stores to Chad's sandal challenge (which ended with a pair of boat shoes and tennis shoes-no sandals)
*make one more stop at the AT&T store to purchase Mom a smartphone (we decided to order Chad's online-they were out of stock at the store)
*and finally stop at Dairy Queen on the way out of town
before Caitlin finally passed out on the way home. She didn't have a single full blown melt down. Only a few minor ones that were easily avoided (yea for two parents!). Bug fell asleep about 30 min from home, we woke her up so she could have a paleo peanut butter and honey sandwich (which means gluten free bread, sunflower butter and organic honey) and get into pajamas.
Remember the day I posted about Erin and I's fantastic trip to Alex? Yea, today was almost a mirror image :) If I had a glass in my hand I'd cheers to my Husband for his amazing ability to slip right into the role of Dad seamlessly like he's been doing it every day for the past 20 months :)
Kind of. We only went 60 miles down the road. We tried to time it with Caitlin's nap, but of course, she foiled that plan and never took her nap. We managed to:
*knock out a trip to the AT&T store to inquire about our upgrades
*stop at a Halloween store (and spend what felt like 2 hours there)
*browse Best Buy for 4 min
*attempt to find sandals for Chad (who according to me has funny shaped feet)
*eat a late lunch
*stop in 3 or 4 stores at the mall for Mom to try on jeans (big ordeal for me if you know my leg length to waist ratio)
*add 2 more stores to Chad's sandal challenge (which ended with a pair of boat shoes and tennis shoes-no sandals)
*make one more stop at the AT&T store to purchase Mom a smartphone (we decided to order Chad's online-they were out of stock at the store)
*and finally stop at Dairy Queen on the way out of town
before Caitlin finally passed out on the way home. She didn't have a single full blown melt down. Only a few minor ones that were easily avoided (yea for two parents!). Bug fell asleep about 30 min from home, we woke her up so she could have a paleo peanut butter and honey sandwich (which means gluten free bread, sunflower butter and organic honey) and get into pajamas.
Remember the day I posted about Erin and I's fantastic trip to Alex? Yea, today was almost a mirror image :) If I had a glass in my hand I'd cheers to my Husband for his amazing ability to slip right into the role of Dad seamlessly like he's been doing it every day for the past 20 months :)
17 October 2011
Day 362 Oct.14 2011
Back to reality. Its weird to think about the fact it has been a year. It sure doesn't feel like it when we're gracefully dancing around each other in the kitchen during dinner prep. Caitlin isn't bothered by him being home. She asks for him when he doesn't follow me into the room. When the scary kid was at the park, she ran to hold on to Daddy's legs and not mine. I can't even BEGIN to explain how nice it is to listen to them play in the living room or backyard while I make food for us.
It is a freeing experience. It still makes me a little sick when I look back at pictures of Caitlin from the Christmas he was gone and realize those memories seem like 5 years ago. But I don't have to think about that anymore. I can and will shove it to the back of my mind. I have it all recorded here. I can come back to it and relive it if need be. But right now, I am going to soak up every moment of smiles, giggles, and laughter.
My goal from here on out will be to not get complacent. I know that's a hefty challenge, but I insist that I not ever take my husband for granted. Deployment or not, things move too fast, and time is really just too short. Excuse the cliches...but they're true :)
It is a freeing experience. It still makes me a little sick when I look back at pictures of Caitlin from the Christmas he was gone and realize those memories seem like 5 years ago. But I don't have to think about that anymore. I can and will shove it to the back of my mind. I have it all recorded here. I can come back to it and relive it if need be. But right now, I am going to soak up every moment of smiles, giggles, and laughter.
My goal from here on out will be to not get complacent. I know that's a hefty challenge, but I insist that I not ever take my husband for granted. Deployment or not, things move too fast, and time is really just too short. Excuse the cliches...but they're true :)
Day 361 Oct.13 2011
Our first day back all in one place! When people say 'You'll look back and none of the bad things you went through will matter when he's home,' it's true. It doesn't feel like it has been a year. When I really think about how much time has passed and how much we've done and how big Caitlin is and I really soak in how long a year is, it makes me a little nauseous. But it's over, none of it matters. We're back together, and there is no sense in living in any time than the present. Sorry for the cliches.
Caitlin is doing fantastic with having Dad around, she loves that she always has two hands to hold on to (she can bounce between us while we walk). It was a very good first day back :)
The amount of growth and learning I did this year wouldn't have been possible without this blog and my friends and family. Again, more cliches, I know, sorry. But knowing my family and I were in the back of everyone's thoughts and prayers really does mean a lot. It's hard to not feel alone when you wake up alone for 360 days. Whether you made it clear to me that you were thinking about us or not, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Every time I heard something positive from someone else about the deployment, it helped counteract the loneliness and horrible nagging thoughts that naturally come along with a deployment. I wish there was more I could say other than Thank you :)
I was going to post this as my last day, and bid farewell to everyone, but my Husband informed me of two pieces of information: 1) I haven't reached day 365 yet and 2) these next 5 days together are just as important to the whole deployment/redeployment process as any other day. He's right, so I'll run this blog through day 365.
Here are a few pictures from our Welcome Home Ceremony:
Caitlin is doing fantastic with having Dad around, she loves that she always has two hands to hold on to (she can bounce between us while we walk). It was a very good first day back :)
The amount of growth and learning I did this year wouldn't have been possible without this blog and my friends and family. Again, more cliches, I know, sorry. But knowing my family and I were in the back of everyone's thoughts and prayers really does mean a lot. It's hard to not feel alone when you wake up alone for 360 days. Whether you made it clear to me that you were thinking about us or not, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Every time I heard something positive from someone else about the deployment, it helped counteract the loneliness and horrible nagging thoughts that naturally come along with a deployment. I wish there was more I could say other than Thank you :)
I was going to post this as my last day, and bid farewell to everyone, but my Husband informed me of two pieces of information: 1) I haven't reached day 365 yet and 2) these next 5 days together are just as important to the whole deployment/redeployment process as any other day. He's right, so I'll run this blog through day 365.
Here are a few pictures from our Welcome Home Ceremony:
13 October 2011
Day 360 Oct.12 2011
Every day for 360 days I've been holding my breath. Every morning I'd let out a little air and sip some back in when I knew we had made it one more day apart with nothing going wrong. I've spent 360 days with the thought of never seeing his face again always lingering in the back of my mind. I've never been able to say this out loud. I find it hard to type now since I don't quite yet have him.
As I've been cleaning the house I notice I still do it in the same order, room to room, item to item as I did the day we moved in. I'm glad my OCD keeps some things constant. So much changes after 360 days, I know I've changed immensely, the house has changed (he doesn't know a lot of what has changed!), his daughter...I hope it's not too much change all at once. At least we get to muddle through these changes together, hand in hand, the way it's meant to be.
In the middle of typing this one of our favorite songs came on Pandora:
As I've been cleaning the house I notice I still do it in the same order, room to room, item to item as I did the day we moved in. I'm glad my OCD keeps some things constant. So much changes after 360 days, I know I've changed immensely, the house has changed (he doesn't know a lot of what has changed!), his daughter...I hope it's not too much change all at once. At least we get to muddle through these changes together, hand in hand, the way it's meant to be.
In the middle of typing this one of our favorite songs came on Pandora:
There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together
...
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.
-Better Together by Jack Johnson
12 October 2011
Day 359 Oct.11 2011
This will be my last "Good-night, I love you" to an empty pillow. Now that the day has passed, I'm feeling super calm about the whole situation. I don't anticipate sleeping being an issue, I can tell that I'm tired. I find the only time I have a hard time sleeping is if I did something wrong that day and my brain can't let it go. Take R&R for example-I made a decision and it was the wrong one and my gut knew it. I didn't sleep that night. When events that I'm told will take place don't happen for whatever reason, that's what makes me anxious. I tend to set"check points" for big events like this. Moments in the more near future that I can "run" to and know I'm making progress, for example, Chad saying he's going to call, or Rear-D telling me to expect a phone call as a confirmation. These events might not provide me with any additional information, but if they don't happen like planned, I'm a wreck. Waiting around for that phone call all day killed me. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get either calls and I found out this morning Chad didn't call b/c he mis-placed his phone cards. No big deal. With an explanation, that anxiety was gone. I now don't expect to hear from him at all during any of their lay overs. Once I found out Rear-D tried to call and they had dialed the wrong number, all anxiety from the day-gone. And tomorrow, since I'm not waiting for something to happen between the hours of 0900 and 1900, I have a set time to look toward (and I know I can't make time move faster), I don't think I'll lose my mind all day.
While cleaning out closets and boxes of things I came across a coloring. Done by me when we first started dating. Back a few weeks ago when I was going through old emails I came by one where I asked Chad if he wanted a kitten and a puppy or something else. Apparently I had come across a coloring book at work (when I worked 3rd shift and we had a lot of down time). In asking him about it recently Chad didn't remember if he still had the picture. He did. I found it today :)
10 October 2011
Day 358 Oct.10 2011
He should be in the air. I never heard from him after we talked on Saturday. No big deal, that could be for many reasons. I'm not jumping to conclusions. I knew I wouldn't hear from Rear-D with a confirmation that he is on this flight because Rear-D doesn't make calls past 6pm (I think) and the flight left after that. So, I most likely will hear sometime tomorrow that he is in fact on MB6 and I get to see him on the 12th :). If I don't hear by 6pm tomorrow we have a huge issue and I'm not sure how I'm to go about fixing it. I hope beyond all hope that I don't have to even think about going there.
So, today. In preparation for my husband coming home after a year long deployment. I organized the pen cup on the desk. I pulled the pens, pencils, high lighters, and markers out and tested each one and sharpened all the pencils. I then put them back, all in a nice neat order of course. This is going to be a rough 2 days. I really shouldn't complain, I have all the big projects done (that I've not told anyone about b/c they're a surprise) for quite some time. And the only thing that remains is the crazy cleaning. And seeing as how our ceremony isn't until 7pm at night...I have a whole freaking day to get through. So Wednesday I'll be cleaning, no need to start that too soon. I'd have to do it twice and that's just silly.
I also attended our good friend's welcome home ceremony this morning. I wanted to see what the set up was like, and how to maximize our experience there on Wednesday. It was really great to see the reunion. I got some fabulous pictures that I can't stop looking at :) I was worried the ceremony would almost be more of a hindrance, I didn't want to deal with a cranky child, I didn't want to camp out for a spot to sit, I just want to hug and kiss my husband. But after today, I have a game plan, I know where we can sit/stand that will allow us easy access to Chad and the exit once we get him. And I'll still get to enjoy some of the fanfare and tradition behind the Redeployment Ceremony :)
So, today. In preparation for my husband coming home after a year long deployment. I organized the pen cup on the desk. I pulled the pens, pencils, high lighters, and markers out and tested each one and sharpened all the pencils. I then put them back, all in a nice neat order of course. This is going to be a rough 2 days. I really shouldn't complain, I have all the big projects done (that I've not told anyone about b/c they're a surprise) for quite some time. And the only thing that remains is the crazy cleaning. And seeing as how our ceremony isn't until 7pm at night...I have a whole freaking day to get through. So Wednesday I'll be cleaning, no need to start that too soon. I'd have to do it twice and that's just silly.
I also attended our good friend's welcome home ceremony this morning. I wanted to see what the set up was like, and how to maximize our experience there on Wednesday. It was really great to see the reunion. I got some fabulous pictures that I can't stop looking at :) I was worried the ceremony would almost be more of a hindrance, I didn't want to deal with a cranky child, I didn't want to camp out for a spot to sit, I just want to hug and kiss my husband. But after today, I have a game plan, I know where we can sit/stand that will allow us easy access to Chad and the exit once we get him. And I'll still get to enjoy some of the fanfare and tradition behind the Redeployment Ceremony :)
Day 357 Oct.9 2011
Well I heard from Chad last night :) He sounded tired-as expected. His travel voice is a pretty rough one. He left me with the impression that he'd try to call again before he left for home.
My motivation is dwindling even more than yesterday. I made a trip to the Class-six (on Post liquor store for those that aren't in the know), and spent over $100. This included items for 2 other people and gifts for some returning soldiers. Chad told me he didn't even want beer. I did verify, he still wanted Rum & Coke, so he still is in fact, my husband. I got me beer, and my kind of Rum...yea, I got myself more alcohol than my husband. Don't judge too harshly.
I played around with the budget for 2 hours after I decided I should go to bed. I know, makes sense. I tell you, these next few days are not going to make sense in any way, shape, or form.
I'll leave you with a cute story in hopes you won't notice there isn't a picture for today...
The computer desktop has been black since the external hard drive had a conniption a couple months ago and I decided today I needed to put a picture of Chad on it as the background. So, I pulled up one that I had taken during one of our skype talks. I closed the window so the new image wasn't blocked by anything and as Caitlin looked up from whatever she had in her lap she clearly, without any doubt said "da-dee" and grinned. And then I felt horrible because she ran over to me, patted my lap and said "up eeze" (up please). When she realized there weren't any words coming from the computer, the looks that crossed her face were priceless and a little sad. I'm really curious to see how she'll do at the ceremony when she sees him in person. I don't know if it's the uniform she recognizes or if it's his face. She doesn't see a lot of other people in uniform (only the few FRG events we've gone to), but she doesn't call anyone else in uniform daddy, so I think it might be his face that she knows :)
My motivation is dwindling even more than yesterday. I made a trip to the Class-six (on Post liquor store for those that aren't in the know), and spent over $100. This included items for 2 other people and gifts for some returning soldiers. Chad told me he didn't even want beer. I did verify, he still wanted Rum & Coke, so he still is in fact, my husband. I got me beer, and my kind of Rum...yea, I got myself more alcohol than my husband. Don't judge too harshly.
I played around with the budget for 2 hours after I decided I should go to bed. I know, makes sense. I tell you, these next few days are not going to make sense in any way, shape, or form.
I'll leave you with a cute story in hopes you won't notice there isn't a picture for today...
The computer desktop has been black since the external hard drive had a conniption a couple months ago and I decided today I needed to put a picture of Chad on it as the background. So, I pulled up one that I had taken during one of our skype talks. I closed the window so the new image wasn't blocked by anything and as Caitlin looked up from whatever she had in her lap she clearly, without any doubt said "da-dee" and grinned. And then I felt horrible because she ran over to me, patted my lap and said "up eeze" (up please). When she realized there weren't any words coming from the computer, the looks that crossed her face were priceless and a little sad. I'm really curious to see how she'll do at the ceremony when she sees him in person. I don't know if it's the uniform she recognizes or if it's his face. She doesn't see a lot of other people in uniform (only the few FRG events we've gone to), but she doesn't call anyone else in uniform daddy, so I think it might be his face that she knows :)
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