Day 287 Jul.31 2011

Determined to have another good day today, I dragged my butt out of bed and we hit up the park again before talking with Dad.  It was well worth it (as it always is, I shouldn't be surprised).  It was slightly cooler than normal and sooooo quiet.  I'm not sure why it seemed so quiet, but that's all I thought, it seemed like we were the only two people awake.  Kind of creepy, but kind of serene at the same time.  We spent most of the time "wee-ing" which means swinging, don't worry, no one's getting arrested.  After a brief chat with Dad (the internet wasn't friendly to us), I now had the next 2 hours to pass before we left to see the final Harry Potter movie.  It was painful, but I made it through.  (If getting through the 2 hours prior to seeing Harry Potter was this bad, I might need professional help when Chad comes home).  I put the kiddo down for her nap, a neighbor stepped in to listen to the monitor, and Erin and I were off!

It was a great movie, save for the babbling 15 month old behind us and the 8-year-old that kept asking questions of her parents about what was going on (REALLY PEOPLE?!?!?!?)  I won't go into my tirade about selfish parents.  A very intense movie.  I'm glad they broke the last book into two parts, even if it was for more money...  What I'm also very okay with was the preview I saw for Sherlock Holmes 2!!!!!!!!!!!!  I almost jumped out of my seat when I realized what the preview was for.  Robert Downey Jr. is very quickly replacing Vin Diesel as my dream actor (I also just watched Iron Man recently).  

Anyway, fantastic time out with Erin, and apparently we felt we didn't spend enough time together because as she pulled into my driveway, she mentioned going to Alex tomorrow sometime.  I said, why not now?  Caitlin has had her nap, I can find paleo food in Alex, let's go!

So we did.  I got free underwear, Erin bought the phones she needed from Best Buy, and I got a paleo friendly meal that I didn't cook.  Where you might ask?...Applebees.  The waiter was very nice and didn't look at me too crazy when I asked for the steak with no cheese and instead of red potatoes a large side of steamed veggies.  And another side of veggies for Caitlin.  The sautéed vegetables on the steak very possibly could have been cooked in butter (because they were PHENOMENAL), but it was worth not having to cook dinner just once.

Sigh...today absolutely flew by, it was great.  Here's hoping for another quick day tomorrow :)

Day 286 Jul.30 2011

So much to talk about today...I guess I'll start at the beginning...

After breakfast this morning the kid and I walked to the park, it was already 94 degrees, but I felt bad that she hasn't had a lot of outside time.  So we went, we got all pink-faced and sweaty and came home in time to chat with Dad.  I realized that getting out of the house for even 15 min before 10am makes all the difference in the world.  I felt like I saw today through a different set of eyes.  It was the happy content view I seemed to have at that "half-way point".  It was nice.  (oh, and these are my favorite kind of cloud-bonus points if you can name them).

We had a really good chat with Dad.  Nothing special was said, no profound topics were discussed, but the one thing happened that always makes our chats "the best", we got to see his face :).  Caitlin was a doll the whole time, she spent the first half quietly playing with her toys in one place so Dad could actually see her.  The second half she spent at 1,000% energy, bouncing off the couch and laughing hysterically at everything.  Who can't love that?

I then got to catch up with best friend Erin who had been in Miami for a few days.  We talked about organic meat and work out routines and what it means to be a good friend.  All very important topics :).  I then finally go to lift weights, for the first time in 6 or 7 weeks, I got to play my workout playlist and do my bicep curls...oh how I missed them!  I might have slightly over done it for my first time back...I'm hurting a bit already and it's not even the next day. 


During the making of dinner Erin came back over and chatted about everything under the sun, we ended up on the topic of dogs, and she got me babbling on about when we were planning on getting a dog, what kind we wanted, and it reminded me that Chad's now put in 12 years of service, and that means we've only got 10 to go until retirement.  10 years seems like no time at all.  Our oldest child will only be 11 and not even in middle school yet (maybe).  To know that our kids won't be uprooted from their school and friends their whole childhood is really reassuring.  Maybe it's the fact we're looking at a PCS soon-ish, and it's the whole prospect of moving on to a new place that I'm so excited about...who knows.  I tell you, that 15 min at the park first thing in the morning, really does a number on me :)

Day 285 Jul.29 2011

So, remember when I said you need to be careful what you do in front of a small toddler?  Well, the other night when I was dragging pieces of her chicken through balsamic vinegar to get her to finish them must have really stuck with her.  She has eaten everything on her plate except for the chicken, I fed her a couple pieces and she ate them, but wasn't pleased.  She then took her water cup, tipped it upside down and got three droplets on her tray, she put her cup back in the holder, spread the water droplets around the tray, picked up a piece of chicken, dragged it through the water and ate it with a smile...

We took a trip down to DeRidder this afternoon to go walk through a new store, Get Healthy.  They sell all organic products and a lot of gluten and sugar-free foods (insert ridiculously huge smile here).  It is a little pricey, and a good amount of the things I can get at the commissary still.  But they did have ketchup and a whole slew of salad dressings.  They also sell ground buffalo which I will be trying soon.  I was very excited.  More to come of course...

Today's picture has nothing to do with our day really, but I haven't seen a red sunset in a while.  Red at night, sailor's delight :)

Paleo Day 8.
Holey Moley Flavor!  I have really started to notice that EVERYTHING tastes so much better.  The carrots we ate last night, were soooo sweet I felt like they should have been mixed with blueberries for dessert.  The garlic on my salad is what I've always hoped garlic would taste, but never seemed to.  It's like the sugar and grain dampened my taste buds.  And now broccoli has a flavor!  A really good flavor, I really loved broccoli before, but now I can't get enough of it!!!  All of you people out there, stop eating processed sugar and grains - you have no idea on what you're missing out on when it comes to food flavor!

Day 284 Jul.28 2011

Today was a pretty silent day-for half of the household.  I woke up lacking a voice, or well, it's there, it just takes a lot of focus and painful energy to make it work.  Caitlin on the other hand has begun regularly using three syllables that I for the life of me can't figure out what they mean.  And she's using them constantly.  One of them ends in -esh and is usually a question.  Sometimes it sounds like she begins it with an i, sometimes a th.  But she points at everything and everything and says "iessh".  The second one is very tongue oriented and there is no way I could begin to type it.  It's similar to pacifier (for those of you who have heard her ask for her pacifier).  But again, she uses it all the time, it seems to be more of a statement.  The other one is "or".  She was sitting with her legos repeating these as she touched the little nodules on top of each lego, like she was naming them...

Speaking of toys, I came across this little guy while I was straightening some things around the desk.  He used to live in the Saturn, right next to the odometer.  And long before his time in the Saturn, he belonged to two small children.  He was one in a handful of figurines.  He came to live in the car when my Dad dug him up out of some place in the backyard.  How poetic.  They were awesome bath toys and even better mud toys.  I always think of Nonners when I see this little guy :)

 

Paleo Day 7.
One complete week down.  I'm not feeling like a completely new person, but keep in mind, grains and dairy didn't ever seem to cause my belly any issues.  And I was a pretty healthy, in shape person to begin with, so I wasn't looking for any dramatic changes to my physique.  I have noticed that I'm waking up now headache free.  I think they were caffeine or sugar related.  I usually had a bowl of ice cream every night, and a good helping of coffee all morning.  My energy levels might be better but it's hard to tell since I've been fighting off this cold.  I really truly have a good handle on the cooking aspect of paleo, and I'm very much a fan.  I know I've said this before, I just really really mean it.  I'm using leftovers more efficiently (I'm not a fan of leftovers), I feel silly that I never thought to put most of this stuff on a salad, and if you're using a productive lettuce (anything other than iceberg) you're getting your much needed and valuable magnesium - and for women, that's a big deal.  Your bones will thank you.

Day 283 Jul.27 2011

Well, I'm not really seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for me when it comes to this cold.  Caitlin is pretty much back to normal and asks to go outside in one way or another every moment she gets.  It's heartbreaking to have to tell her no.  I'm just so absolutely beat.  Sleep doesn't seem to quench my tiredness, and my nose just gets stuffier and stuffier!

Oh well.  If I learned anything today, it's that I have a crazy, awesome, very reliable autopilot.  We made it through the day with three meals, an hour of playtime outside, ample diaper changes, a bath, three books at bedtime, a successful bedtime, a clean kitchen and a picked up living room.  Granted, everything listed is at the lowest minimum for quality (meaning, three really simple basic meals, playtime where I zoned off into space, three of the smallest, shortest books we own, etc.).  But hey, I think that's a pretty awesome low standard?  Yes, I'm tooting my own horn.  I'm sick, I need something to pull me through...

I really do need to count my lucky stars.  I have a kid that demands to go outside-that really is awesome.  And probably pretty good for my overall state of being.  If it hadn't had been for Caitlin's persistence, I wouldn't have gone outside at all, but we did.

I really like this picture, but it makes our little girl, look not so little...:)

Day 282 Jul.26 2011

Baby, it's been a long day, baby
Things ain't going my way
You know I need you here
Here by my side
All of the time

And baby, the way you move me it's crazy
It's like you see right through me
And you make it easier
You please me and you don't even have to try

Oh because, you are the best thing
You are the best thing
You are the best thing
Ever happened to me

Baby, we've come a long way, baby
You know, I hope and I pray that you believe me
When I say this love will never fade away

Oh because, you are the best thing
You are the best thing
You are the best thing
Ever happened to me

Now both of us have known love before
To come on up promising, like the spring, just walk on out the door
Our hearts are strong and are hearts are kind
Well, let me tell you what exactly is on my mind

You are the best thing
You are the best thing
You are the best thing
Ever happened to me

You are the best thing
You are the best thing
You are the best thing
Ever happened to me

- Ray LaMontagne You Are The Best Thing

 (Click on the title if you want to listen to the song)


I can't stop singing this song. Babe, If we ever have our "1st Dance" I want it to be to this song.  I'm cheating today because this picture wasn't taken by me, it obviously wasn't taken today, and it wasn't even taken with my camera.  Today the rules don't matter :)

Day 281 Jul.25 2011

Oy Vey.  I thought we might be approaching a cold in the near future for both the kid and I, and I was right.  Bug's fighting a fever, I spoke with a triage nurse and she gave me instructions (not that I don't know how to handle a fever), but 3 hours later pediatrics called to follow up and say that if her fever gets above 102.2 to bring her in.  I was pleased that peds followed up with us (the triage nurse I spoke with wasn't affiliated with peds), well done system.

Even our sick child, is a pretty happy one.  She slept until quarter to nine this morning, or at least never made a sound until then (I slept with the monitor on last night), I slept until 8.  After breakfast, she was up and playing like nothing was wrong.  At 1 we both laid down for a nap, I woke up at 4:10, and she followed suit at 4:35-we must have needed the sleep.  Lets hope this night is as easy for sleep for both of us and it helps us kick whatever we have...

On a lighter note, this is what a zucchini squash flower looks like covered in dew - if you were ever curious :)

Paleo Day 4.
Breakfast-eggs, ham slice, and fruit-we had mango.  Lunch was leftovers and dinner was supposed to be a beef stir-fry, but I needed wheat free soy sauce and the commissary was out.  So we swapped dinners, and tonight we had spaghetti squash, marinara and ground turkey (Don't worry Dear, I have a way to make this meal friendly for you-as long as you're willing to try kelp noodles...).  I enjoyed the simplicity of this dinner since I'm not feeling the greatest.  I was really hoping this change in food would up my energy like it says it does.  I had been really feeling sluggish lately.   I guess maybe this cold explains my lack of energy over the last few days...

Day 280 Jul.24 2011

I can't believe July is almost over.  It seems like I say that a lot, but don't feel any closer to 17 Oct.  Wow, October, now that I've said it out loud, it sounds like an eternity away...This being day 280, we're now 85 days away.  Or 12 weeks.  Or 2,038 hours.

Yea, I don't feel any better.  Sigh...well, maybe the sooner I accept the fact we aren't in the home stretch, the easier this last chunk of time will be.  I think that is my problem, I'm getting too far ahead of myself, I need to stay a little more focused on the present.  I need to break out some of my projects and get lost in those.  Maybe that will help pass the time. 

Enough of my rant about something I can't control.  Today did prove to be slightly fruitful.  I really do now enjoy Caitlin's 3 hour mid-day nap.  I was able to paint her little chair like I've been meaning to since before R&R.  I am so pleased with myself, it turned out perfectly.  She even points to the back of the chair at each bug and says "buh-buh" (which means bug-don't ask my why it's a double syllable, haven't figured it out).  Behold, my pride and joy of the day :)

Paleo Day 3.
I grumbled a little bit this morning when my breakfast was supposed to be left over chicken from last night and not scrambled eggs, or something else breakfasty.  But I hiked up my panties and threw some of the crock-pot chicken in a pan with some olive oil, heated it up (pulled some out for the kiddo), and then added a glug of salsa and chopped an avocado.  This ended up being delicious.  Caitlin didn't mind eating chicken for breakfast, and mine mixed with the warm salsa and avocado, was heaven.  Lunch, was supposed to be tuna, and I can't stand tuna, so I made a salad from leftovers from day 1, and Bug had leftover burger from day 2.  And dinner, egads, easiest thing in the world.  Pork loin in the crock-pot with cauliflower and zucchini, a can of tomato sauce, and basil.  And it went right from pot to plate, there was nothing else.  AND it's kid approved.  Caitlin ate it as well.  Wow.  I'm usually not a fan of pork, but this didn't taste porky, it wasn't salty like I expected, I was so very pleased :)  Things are going well, I'd say!

Day 279 Jul.23 2011

I always look forward to the weekend, not that it gives me any break or a different scenery, but it means another week has passed.  Last I counted we were at 11 weeks left.  I don't really remember when that was, so I could be looking at a single digit week count...

I'm starting to really see the possibility of Chad coming home.  And not that I didn't expect him to not come home - it's more that Bug and I have gotten back a really good routine, and I'm starting to see how easily Dad can fit into that.  And no, I'm not going to tell him this is how he will live his life now that we're under the same roof.  I'm more hopeful that he will naturally fill into certain places.  Like, now that she is down to one nap and wakes up around 3 or 3:30, we can still get our hour and a half or so of pool time in before I need to start dinner.  The downside to one nap is that she's awake during dinner prep.  She has started getting a little clingy, which makes cooking dinner difficult.  But now I'm seeing Chad come home from work just in time to distract the kid from the kitchen, roll around on the living room floor with her and unwind from work, and I can finish dinner.  After dinner when we go for our walk, I know she wants to run and be chased, but I don't have the energy for it...maybe Dad will.  Or the possibility of alternating days who chases her through the yard is a beautiful image to me...oh to have our family back together...I'm trying to contain my excitement, I still have a long way to go...

Paleo Day 2.
I'm already over the coffee thing.  Breakfast this morning was incredible.  Egg Cupcakes = amazing.  And I bet they freeze really well and would be a great 'on-the-go' morning food.  Lunch was a straight forward burger (I used turkey).  I topped it with chopped avocado, tomato, onion, and garlic.  And had a side of spicy brown mustard for dipping.  And while I was making lunch, I threw a whole chicken in the crockpot, smothered it in a paleo suggested seasoning mix, and was ultimately done with dinner.  I'm floored at how much more simple making food has gotten.  My Mom had mentioned that fact before we left MI, but I didn't really understand until I was the one behind the oven.  Oh, so nice!

 

Day 278 Jul.22 2011

Day 1 of Paleo ( I promise dear, the next 30 posts won't all be about this challenge).

I miss my coffee.  Coffee is on the okay list, but I want to stay away from caffeine for the 30 days.  Why you ask?  Well, it's because I might be slightly OCD and most anything I do has to be done perfectly and in the most 100%-by-the-book way possible.  I know.  I figure being aware of this irritating need, is half the battle...

The big news for the day is that I, Elizabeth Conger, ate an almond today.  Most of you might think that statement is weird, but I'm kind of afraid of nuts.  I'm not allergic, there is no rational logic behind why I am afraid of them.  Which is why that statement is kind of a big deal for me.  Almonds (and other true nuts) are a big staple to the paleo solution, and I had been pondering this quietly to myself, for about 2 weeks.  I decided today, that I am a big girl, and it won't kill me to see what the fuss is (my husband LOVES almonds).  It would have been really disappointing if I were really severely allergic, huh?  It wasn't awful, so far today I've had a total of maybe 5.  And I mean individual nuts, not handfuls or anything outrageous like that...

I also broke down and scheduled myself for a massage to see if they can fix my neck.  I'm sick of waking up in pain, and I know the doctor will give me two stretches and an prescription for Ibuprofen.  I was feeling guilty (I shouldn't lounge in the lap of luxury when my other half is miserable-it's not fair), but I don't feel so guilty now that I went.  It wasn't relaxing at all.  It was very procedure-like.  She all but ripped the muscle from my back, threw it on the floor and jumped on it.  Egads, the whole thing was very intense, but it does feel a little more loose.  Hopefully, if I'm nice to it, and this paleo diet does what it claims to on the inflammatory level, I should be right as rain soon!

Today's picture should have been of my husband.  We had a stellar internet connection and got to have both videos on the entire length of our conversation.  This really only happens once, maybe a couple times, a month, especially lately.  It makes all the difference seeing the sideways smile when he thinks I'm being ridiculous, or to watch Caitlin's face when he waves back at her.  Priceless.  Instead of my husband, I'll show you all what a paleo kitchen looks like :)

  

Day 277 Jul.21 2011

I've wrestled with some neck issues (not literally of course, that would make them worse) since the train ride from Chicago.  I've tried very hard to be nice to my back and neck.  I've been on a regular anti-inflammatory drug routine, heat therapy and I've been drinking water like I was pregnant (I drank a ridiculous amount of water while I was pregnant).  Doesn't seem to be getting better.  So I got myself back into yoga (thanks Nonners).  After a day or two of it not hurting my neck, I decided to stick with it.  I love sun salutations.  They're simple and efficient.  I decided I wanted to do it right.  I wanted to salute the sun.  So last night I looked up the sunrise time for the area, and was on my back porch at 0600, 22 min before sunrise.    The pause for bug dope was the only minor interruption - oh, and the armadillo that I scared the crap out of half way through... but it was great.  I was able to greet the sun, calm, cool and collected :)

This yoga moment would in and of itself be enough to set the happy sunny mood for the day, but I took it to another level during Cate's nap.  For those that don't know, she's now down to one nap.   One 2.5-3 hour nap right smack in the middle of the day.  I'm loving it.  I almost get bored with that much time in a row for myself.  Anyway, I started boxing up things in the pantry that I was going to either get rid of or reintroduce after 30 days of the paleo challenge.  Well, it snow balled and I completely emptied the pantry, and then the freezer.  And then I started giving away the food.  And then I realized Cate and I still needed to eat something!  So, during the last part of her nap I put together the shopping list, looked over the first couple of recipes and hit the commissary when Bug got up.  I guess my start challenge date is now tomorrow, not August 1st... :)

Day 276 Jul.20 2011

Today wasn't a bad day.  But it wasn't a normal even keeled day.  The day just seemed to have the overall feeling of "not quite complete".  I'm not even going to try and explain what that means because it would come out sounding really existential or vague and confusing...The easiest thing I can compare it to is when you have a meal, and it wasn't what you really expected.  You're full, it did what it was supposed to do.  But you're still craving something.  And yes, that analogy would seem to hit the nail on the head when you talk about spending a year away from your other half, but that still isn't quite what today was...odd, I know.

The downside of having a day like today, I didn't take a picture.  I had a memorial service in the morning for one of Chad's soldiers, and when Caitlin woke up in the afternoon we ran to Walmart and Back to Nature to compare some prices.  Came home, made dinner, took a walk to the mail box, and we all went to bed.  Like I said, semi-productive, just not quite satisfying.

Day 275 Jul.19 2011

Yesterday Caitlin kept bringing me my bike helmet.  She'd shove it unsuccessfully on my head and then run off to get her helmet.  While she was gone I'd humor her and adjust the helmet properly on my noggin.  She'd immediately buckle the chin-strap (she's quite adept at buckles now), and then ram her helmet on her head any way she could make it fit, and then sprint to the front door - apparently buckling her helmet isn't important to her.  Yesterday it also rained.  All day.  Biking - as adorable and persistent as she was - was not going to happen.  But today...I got our butts up early and we took a ride.  The things I do for this kid...We were out of the house by 0730, and back by 0820.  And then because I wasn't sweaty enough, we met Laurie and Chase at the park for a bit.  After a VTC, a chat with Dad, lunch, and a nap, we headed to the backyard and played in the garden.  I realized I'm not a very good gardener, meaning I don't get a lot, if any, of the fruit or vegetable I'm trying to grow...But I really really enjoy watching the plants grow and get bigger as time goes on.  What does that say about me???

Day 274 Jul.18 2011

Rearranged the living room and I LOVE it.  We have so much open carpet space.  Caitlin and Marvin are ecstatic!  So am I.  Oh, I am happy when simple things like this still make me smile.


To top my happy day, there is hope I can find grass-fed meat in this state.  There are a few local farms that boast such things.  I just need to contact them and find out if they are financially doable.  I have my fingers crossed.  Some how, a fresh new living room has made me hopeful.  Weird, I know.

Day 273 Jul.17 2011

Finished the paleo book.  Took a reconnaissance trip to the commissary to see what they had to offer.  In short - not much.

They do have the almond flour and coconut oil, and a few other supplies.  I just need to compare prices to the local Back to Nature store I found the other day.  The commissary only sells chicken from Tyson, and they are all grain fed farms.  The commissary’s meat supply is Tyson and one other company that are both, grain fed.  Grrrrr.  I can’t wait to be back in civilization, with options.  I still have two other options that I have my fingers crossed, but I don’t have much hope.


  

Day 272 Jul.16 2011

Some of you may already know, I've decided to take the 30-day Paleo Challenge.  I mentioned the basic principle of the Paleo diet in earlier posts.  I’ll try to keep it simple…

I got my book today, The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf.  In two hours I read the first 134 pages, pretty much the first half of the book.  I am now ridiculously familiar with the human digestive system.  I kind of was before, all the terms, and processes are things that I remember from cell bio, mammalian physiology, and biochemistry (at least my college degree isn’t a total waste…).  I find it very curious that well before my cuncle introduced me to the concept of the Paleo lifestyle back in March, I was on a caveman kick.  Some of you may remember my many posts where I related something of this world back to caveman land, and wonder what they ever did about it, and why we do it now, or how it’s changed over time.  And now here I am, considering emulating their eating habits in order to better myself (and my family). 

I initially had two paragraphs of a book review next.  But I decided I’d spare you all, and if you’re that interested, I’ll loan you the book.

Ultimately, I was going to wait until the 1^st of August to begin my challenge, but after reading what lectin in grain can permanently do to your bowls…egads, I’m going to be chomping at the bit to start as soon as possible…

This was only the first half of the book; I get to the implementation and recipe section next!  Stay tuned, I know ya’ll are as excited as I am! :)  

Day 271 Jul.15 2011

Days like today shouldn't happen.  But they do.  You breathe, you cry, you make sure your daughter has breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you go back to sleep.

And try again tomorrow morning.

Day 270 Jul.14 2011

Today I woke up with a mission in mind.  Find meat.  Well, first it was to maybe invest in a pair of goloshes - the rain doesn't seem to have an end in sight anytime soon.  Then it was to find some decent meat in this town.  

After a quick google search, I came up with three places I wanted to stop at.  The first two were meat markets, one in Rosepine, one in DeRidder.  Both kind of so-so.  The last place we stopped is really what made my day.

Back to Nature, in Leesville is a hole in the wall kind of place with a bare-bones kind of decor.  But - upon closer inspection, they had coconut oil (big plus for this paleo thing), and a really good supply of gluten-free snacks and foods.  I haven't had a chance to check out the commissary for such things, so it's nice to know that this is here, just in case.  The other half of the store is a smoothie station.  They had every kind of smoothie imaginable.  I panicked at the multitude of decisions and went with the most popular - strawberry banana.  She even poured some of it into a smaller cup for Caitlin, who was VERY much a fan.  

Sigh, so once we felt comfortable that this quaint little store wasn't going to disappear into a poof of "just kidding", we headed back home and tried to burn up all the energy that Caitlin managed to build up since it's been raining for two days.  She decided to attempt to dress herself and frolic through the house.  I'm claiming that she gets this from her Dad ;-)

 

Day 269 Jul.13 2011

I FINALLY got the bike up and running.  Took Cate for a quick ride to test out how well I can change a bike tire.  Apparently, I'm pretty sufficient.

It felt good to get some rubber to the road.  It's been a week-ish since we've been back in LA and I feel like we're starting to find our rhythm again.  Our finally back on track day ended with a scrumptious meal.  Even came with a kid friendly version :)

Day 268 Jul.12 2011

 I read an article in Parents Magazine today.  It was about the "second child" quandary.  To have one soon, or quit while you're ahead.

Now, I will preface this with: "These musings are just that - thoughts, not set-in-stone decisions."  To all of you 'overly excited about the next child' zealots -  Don't take this to heart.  Chad, you can, and then we'll talk when you get home :)

So here goes.

Pros:  

* They wouldn't be too close together, but not too far apart.  

* Caitlin is a gem, meaning we have the most absolutely perfect combination of genes.

* Oddly, there is a part of me that misses being pregnant.

* I want to tackle the labor thing again, and this time - own it.

* We're not getting younger, and these things require a lot of freaking energy.

Cons:

* Caitlin is a gem, and there is no way we'd get that lucky twice in a row.

* I enjoy having my body all to myself, parasite free.

* Labor could go completely wrong and there would be nothing I could do about it.  Not to mention all of those other possible pregnancy complications.

* We won't ever have the energy that we have now...

As you can see, I've got one more pro than con.  Age difference can go so many different ways.  Spacing them out even more would maybe give Caitlin more of a parental relationship with her sibling and not a friendship relationship.  And I think after reading this article, I'm liking the idea of Caitlin growing up with a best friend instead of a third parent.  I know sometimes that best friend relationship takes 18 years to develop, but even still, I think it would be better than anything else.

So there, I might be leaning toward one way than the other, but I have had plenty of days that it seems outrageous to consider having another child.  How could I not give Caitlin every ounce of my attention and knowledge and love?  Why would I even consider bringing another child into the equation...isn't that a selfish wish, more children?  I don't have a farm that I need 12 children to run.  Does it really come down to my nature to continue the human race?  That seems not very fair to a lot of people...

Day 267 Jul.11 2011

I’m finding that we have to reclaim our home from many different creepy crawly things.  Well, not really our inside home (thankfully), more the outer perimeter.  I’ve destroyed a hornets nest on our front porch roof.  I could reach the nest with the end of the broom handle while standing in the front door, so I had a very easy escape if I needed.  I didn’t need. 
Next I tackled the backyard.  My squash plant took quite a liberty and engulfed the corner of the fence.  Which actually pleases me; since it’s off the grass and on the fence I don’t have to worry about the mowers :).  I didn’t realize, if given the opportunity, squash would climb fences, lucky me.  Anyway, the weeds have overtaken the rest of the garden area, and I had to pull out some pots that were now just supporting weeds and no longer had productive plants in them.  Hello, black widow land.  Ugh.  I had two that were enormous, a handful that were so teeny tiny that stepping on them on cement wouldn’t kill them.  If their bites weren’t necrotic, it wouldn’t bother me so much to have them around, really it wouldn’t.  So long as they stay outside I’m cool.  The wolf spider that was the size of my foot, I allowed him to live.  I just chased him outside of the fence and told him to stay out because he was creepy to look at.
Then…while in the garage I heard a sort of buzzing sound that I assumed was a small child’s motorized bike running up and down the sidewalk.  I wasn’t convinced, so I cautiously looked around.  When I looked up I saw a hornets nest the size of my fist.  The vibrating sound was coming from it.  Gah.  I called housing this afternoon, I’m not dealing with that one. 

Then we came inside and threw balls at Marvin.  He was pleased :)

Day 266 Jul.10 2011

So, an odd thing happened today.  And I’m not connecting any huge lines, but I will admit that it was a well timed coincidence. 

I’ve had a harder time adjusting to life back in Louisiana.  I had an expectation that things were going to be and feel a certain way, and they aren’t.  It’s disappointing and frustrating on a few different levels.  It’s no one’s fault, but my own for having those pesky expectations.  So, long story short, I’ve been dragging.  I feel like I’ve put too much of my burden on my already tired husband, and it makes the feeling worse.  Makes for kind of a crappy snowball effect.  Well, I was watching Harry Potter on TV upstairs in the bedroom while I finished up some laundry.  After HP, Mr. Joel Osteen was on next.  Those of you of aren’t familiar; he is some form of preacher.  He actually kind of reminds me of Martin Short.  Anyway, I was in and out of the room so I didn’t bother changing the channel.  But I did start listening (and here is the start of the coincidence) because what he was saying, I needed to hear.

“There are times in life that we all get tired: tired of trying to make a business grow, tired of dealing with a sickness, tired of raising a difficult child, tired of living lonely, waiting to meet the right person. We can even be doing what we love, living in the house of our dreams, raising great children, or working at a good job, but if we’re not careful, we can lose our passion and allow weariness to set in.”

Wow.  Nail on head.  And according to Mr. Osteen, when you give in to the weariness, your next give is into failure.  But that victory was right around the corner (I’m sure his victory and my victory are two VERY different things), and it would be silly to give in with victory so close.  “Those that talk about being tired, become more tired.  Don’t talk about what you are, talk about what you want to be.” 

Huh, what he said wasn’t hugely profound, it was actually a little cheesy and over the top inspirational.  But instead of crawling into bed with a sagging feeling, I had a little lighter feeling in my chest.  Odd that it came from a television evangelist…but hey, inspiration is inspiration, right? :)

This, by the way, is not Joel Osteen, or Martin Short.  It's my new pet (I hope).  He seems to have moved into one of my pots on the front porch.  I really really hope he decides to stay.  I'm even tempted to purchase crickets and keep his area stocked ;-)

Day 265 Jul.9 2011

Caitlin and I were reviewing facial features and where they were located while at breakfast in the dining car when a woman sitting across from me asked if I was a teacher with a smile on her face.  I smiled at the compliment and said, “Only to this little one.”  The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking, who isn’t a teacher?  Going back to my caveman reference…

Cave children were very happy to play with a stick.  That’s all their simple brains needed to stay engaged.  Now, thanks to evolution, my child can’t take in enough stimulation.  Post-Cave children are all like this, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you are doing, there is a child somewhere learning from you.  Soaking in every move you make, taking to heart every word out of your lips, desperately trying to comprehend the expression on your face.  Creeped out?  You should be.  This is my plea to anyone and everyone-be careful what you do in public.  Understand it’s very hard to teach a 16 month old child that the middle finger is not a friendly one, or hitting someone else (even if you laugh while doing it) isn’t nice.  It only takes one moment for it to in grain into their little brains. 

 

Day 254 Jul.8 2011

When it comes to trains, I think I’m cursed.  I thought we had planned enough time to get to Chicago and get my bags checked before getting on the train, but of course-no such luck.  Thanks to construction we had to do some on the fly navigating.  I took us through China-town and somehow found the train station.  We parked (had a slight issue with that, but I won’t go into the details-just know it was enough to start raising my blood pressure).  I strapped my 30lb child to my back, dragged the cumbersome car seat out of the backseat and grabbed one of the three remaining bags.  My wonderful Mom grabbed the other two.  We wheeled ourselves through the parking ramp, across a very busy street and of course to the side of the building that didn’t have a ramp-just stairs.  We obnoxiously clattered down the stairs and pushed through the doors to Union Station.  The not-so-helpful attendant informed me I had missed the opportunity to check my bags by 15 min and I cannot take them with me.  Awesome.  I told the woman I would have my Mom check them on another train and I’d pick them up tomorrow.  I didn’t really take into account what that really meant for me…I just knew I had to get on the train.  I had 15 min before it left the platform.  Another no-so-helpful attendant informed me they had already boarded the train and I needed to take myself to gate E.  Rush rush rush.  Mom hung in there behind me.  The totally and completely oblivious attendant at the platform door punched my ticket while talking with someone across the room, and waved me through saying something about 2^nd car on the right.  My Mom followed me through the door with my bags.  The car attendant let me put all of my things on the train without saying a word.  In a complete adrenaline fit I only hugged my Mom once for a brief second, I’m not sure she even got a chance to kiss Bug, in my mind I was still not sure they would let me stay on the train for some reason.  What a disaster.  After a good cry in our room, and a nice warm dinner I started regaining my sanity.  I focused on how close home was to us now, and the day didn’t seem too horrible :)