Day 17.

3 oct 2014

After a long night of vigilantly watching Mr, and Bug finding one reason or another to get out of bed, I rolled over at 0615 to ask Mr to repeat what he had just said.  After removing his paci, he told me he wanted to go sleep in his bed.  Alrighty then!  Must be feeling better!  I wanted so bad to crawl back into my bed and wrap my arms around the big dude that is usually next to me in bed.  I did the next best thing at the moment.  A text message.  I happened to catch him on a break, so we had a brief conversation about nothing in particular, it was nice.

Mr found his way back to my bed around 0800 just in time for him to puke on my chest.  Needless to say, I'm toast.  I'm soggy, spent, tired toast...

Bug had gotten up and gotten dressed and instead of pestering me at the side of my bed for cereal, she had just come downstairs and entertained herself, and it struck me as visually appealing, and it warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face.  Why?  I'm not sure.  It just did.  Maybe the glimmer of independence and creativity.  Something that seems to be fading here at home with her.

I really don't know what it is about this, but I love it.  I love the order, the colors, everything.  I kind of want to blow it up and make a poster out of it.  Call me crazy.

The day was saved when a good friend asked if I happened to want some homemade pizza.  She was making some for her family and making some for mine wasn't too much more effort.  Anyone that knows me, knows a reason to not make dinner is ALWAYS a welcome one.

These were beautiful, and delicious and Mr even successfully kept a teeny tiny sliver of a slice down.  He begged me for some pizza, I couldn't say no.  I'm grateful that I was thought of at the last minute.  It seemed like that never happened during our deployment.  My immediate neighbor often thought of me, but we could always hear each other living so close, and hence we were always reminded to invite the other over.  I never expected the pizza offer.  It was out of the blue, and sweet, and made me smile :)

Day 16.

2 Oct.

Today was rough.  Most know that Mr spiked a fever of 105.9 late on the 1st.  With meds it would come down to 102/103.  Super cranky, not my crazy dancing kid, rather heartbreaking.  Walking through the hospital on the way to his Dr. appointment this afternoon, everyone that laid eyes on him made some comment about the poor baby.  He was exceptionally pitiful.

We didn't do anything but take Bug to school, go to his appt and watch movies/TV all day long.

The "happy" moment I found in all of this was that I had my oils to turn to.  It's been just over a year since I started using essential oils, and in that time I personally haven't taken a single tylenol.  And let me tell you after the night of July 3rd, I would have taken a vicodin!  Nope, I used grapefruit, lemon, and lavender and my headache became manageable enough to function.  And I didn't have to become "functional" by taking a chemically derived pill.  No slam against those that do, I just rather stay away from it.  And I'm not saying modern medicine doesn't have a place.  When Mr's thermometer reading was 105.9, I reached immediately for the acetaminophen -it was expired, but I knew without hesitation that was the route I needed to go.  But modern medicine has it's limitations.  One can overdose, so when he was 2 hours from being able to take more meds, and his fever was climbing again and back up to 103.5, I could dab peppermint on his neck and forehead to keep him cool (it works!  I've done it).  I could apply lavender to ease the pain he was feeling (he wouldn't let me touch him or move him).  But when that 2 hour mark would hit and he'd whine and fuss and make it so clear how uncomfortable he was, a dab of some choice oils and he'd fall asleep and rest better until we could give him another dose of medicine.  As a Mom, bringing peace and comfort to your children is what brings peace and comfort to us.

15 days.

1OCT14

I can't say I'm a big fan of October.  I find myself just wishing it would move on.  Not Summer anymore, not quite Winter.  Now that Summer is over, I want the big holidays to hit and let the fun begin.  I've never been geeked about Halloween - I don't like being cold.  Hence, I don't like events outside - in the cold.  The alternative to outdoor trick-or-treating here is to go from clinic to clinic at the hospital on Post.  It's insanely crowded and you literally walk in a line from one to the other.  Very "herd"-like.  I don't like being scared, or spooked, it just don't do well with this month.  Plain and simple.

Had a relatively quiet day, kids and I played blocks.  We made cakes with them.  Such a cruel tease... Mr and I got some errands done while Bug was at school.  Walked some Pre-K/K kids through the Australian version of Animal ABC yoga, nuked left overs for dinner, and that's when Mr started acting funny.  Somewhere between me putting the sweet potatoes in the microwave and taking out the steak, he sneaked up stairs, grabbed blanket and paci and crawled into the chair and laid face down.  Wouldn't come eat dinner, but would snuggle.  I brought him to the table, he ate a few bites of steak, seemed in good spirits, just groggy.  Started packing up to go teach class and I picked Mr up to change him in to P.J.s and I realized how hot he was!  Between setting him at the table and picking him up 10 min later, he had spiked a major fever.  Oh joy.  Couldn't (and still can't) find the thermometer.  Onward we trudged to the gym, I brought their collapsible camp chairs and the kindle.  They happily sat in the corner watching Super Why while the adults stretched.  About 15 min in, Mr had stood at the chair, bent forward and laid his face in the chair (he would now be at a 90 degree bend), so not comfortable looking.  I moved him to my yoga mat and he was out within minutes...

Child's Pose in action.
And notice the creepy levitating thing in the upper left corner.  I think that is Bug.  Jumping on her knees.  Just thinking about that makes my knee caps cringe...

And because it would seem now that this blog would not be complete without a Marvin sighting...
He chose me as his victim this morning:

2 Weeks.

I knew when I ended last night with the thought, "what goes down must come up" I was asking for trouble.  I woke to "Mama!  Mama! Mr is vomiting!"  Nothing like that to get you going in the morning!  Thankfully he had nothing to eat and it wasn't a mess.  There was one way to get him to relax.  A little Super Why and blanket and paci time.  Oh, and how could I forget the Cat.  He sure is stepping up his game.  It's rather hilarious!

The day made a turn for the better, thankfully.  I was able to prep the exterior grounds for the winter.  I did my best to consider where things were stored in case we have a mid-winter PCS.  As hard as it is to let go of this house (other than these kids, this house has much of my own blood and sweat invested in it!) it's nice to know this will be our last winter.  Which seems to be starting a smidge early this year.  The Littles and I finally had a wonderful afternoon for once and it led to "Monkeys on the floor", a few books in bed, and a bath for Mom.  Such a light feeling tonight :)

Day 13.

29 September 14.

Today was supposed to be a pajama day.  A HAPPY pajama day.  No such luck here.  Apparently we can't do a day with too many activities and we can't do a day with no activities.  In hindsight, this does make sense.  As a yoga teacher I often talk about balance, and not in the physical sense...I should have seen this coming.  Today was just a negative day, everything out of everyone's mouth was negative.  Bug seemed to start it and Mr is a parrot and doubled it for no other reason than because he heard her say it.  And I reached my negativity saturation point and chose (blindly) to fight fire with fire.  I know, no good.  That's probably the HARDEST part about being the only adult in a home for an extended period of time.  If you get stuck in a day like today and don't notice it before you're in too deep - you're screwed.  Normally, Hubs would have come home for lunch I would have sunk my forehead into his chest and whined for 5 minutes, he would have given me a good squeeze and that would have been enough to recharge me until he came home after work.  If I hadn't noticed the funk by the time he came home - he wold have called me on it.  Either way, that 2nd person looking in from the outside is really really helpful.

But we arrived at the end of our day, all in one piece, and not short too many brain cells.  And we shall try again tomorrow!  What goes down, must come up, right?

Day 12.

28 September 14

Alaska was full of firsts for us/me.  Buying a home, seeing the Aurora, having a kid in school, starting my own business, crazy things.  Not so crazy firsts happened too, like the first time I swung an ax.  Definitely something I never thought I would be capable of doing.  But the curiosity got the best of me, and one day I took a swing (hahaha, get it?)  It's not so bad.  My toes had one close call and I haven't not thought about where my feet are when I'm holding an ax since.

I took advantage of the balmy 42 degrees this afternoon and swung the ax - just because I can!  I got it stuck.  :(  In my defense, we have some crazy, unsplitable, chunks of wood that even the hydraulic log splitter struggled with.  Before I got my ax stuck, I was thinking to myself that there are actually a large group of people that would see what I'm doing and tell me I'm crazy.  I don't know if it's because I have a husband who is very physically capable of splitting wood, or if that doesn't matter and that it's just because I'm a girl.  I'll admit, I am a bit of a weakling (which is partially why I can't unstick the ax from it's current location).  But as I chopped away I started to formulate my argument to someone who would tell me I'm crazy for doing my "man's job".  As I organized my thoughts, I realized how happy I am with the relationship I have with my Man.  One of the books I read a few months ago described the roles of a man and woman and why they pair so well together.  To keep it simple the woman is the flower and the man is the gardener.  The flower is meant to stay put in the garden and grow and flourish and beautify the garden.  The gardener is there to protect the flower, till the soil, make sure it has the nutrients it needs to do it's growing.  And that is exactly what we do. In the 7 years I've known him, he's always provided me with what I need without hesitation.  Sometimes tilling the soil means changing the poopiest diaper of the week so I can continue splitting wood.  My point is...There aren't man jobs or woman jobs, the picture is bigger than that.  I am happy because my husband has allowed me to grow the most beautiful garden I think I've ever seen!  I see it in our kids, in the friendships I've been able to go out and develop, and the fact that I can call my Gardener my best friend, and best partner in crime that I could hope to have :)

That being said - sorry I got the ax stuck, it will be waiting patiently for you until you come home ;-)

Day 11.

27 September.

Today was the first day I needed to press the '7' key and was reminded that Mr had pulled that button off the keyboard and it has not found it's way back...ggrrrrrr.

I was reminded how different our kids are this morning when I woke up to the quiet sound of crunching at the side of my bed.  I knew the sound immediately! (sadly probably because I eat too many of them myself...) OREOS!  The first words out of my mouth before I even opened my eyes were, "Mr!  Spit out those cookies!"  Then as wakefullness slowly began to set it, I realized what I had said and Mr. Literal was going to open his mouth and drop soggy black goo all over the carpet in my bedroom.  Crap!

Bug always asked for permission, even at 2 years old.  First, she wouldn't have wandered down stairs alone.  She is NEVER  the first one out of bed.  If she is the first one awake up until we moved to Alaska she would just sit in bed and read until I got up.  Here, she comes to ask if it's morning and if she can get up (thanks Alaskan sun - you've forever confused my poor kid).  Mr, just helps himself.  This may be the beginning of a long phase that I can't wait for him to outgrow... It seems to be a common sense thing, I say, no drawing with pens, and I take away the blue pen that he used to poke holes in a piece of paper with - on my white chair.  A moment later he is pulling  a black pen out of the drawer asking, I write with this one?  No, dude.  No pens.  No matter the color.  Do I really have to point to each pen and say, don't touch this one, or this one, or this one?...

After settling the monsters at the table with a proper, Oreo-free breakfast, I decided this was no way to start a Saturday where we had no plans and no where to be.  So, I decided to function on kid time, all day.  And we did.  We may have over done it a smidge and by 4 they were pretty toast because we had been out for 5ish hours, which led to a large meltdown on Bug's part leading to a rough 2 hours at home before dinner, bath, and bed.  But by the time they were ready for bed, they got some Dad Skype time, Mr was pretty proud that he could hold books for some reason and wanted Dad to know, Bug accurately recounted our day to him (which is a pretty big step for her), and after we said good-bye Bug and I had a good conversation about responsibility and earning and sacrifice.  At least I think we did, she had some pretty long blinks during the conversation, so I'm thinking she didn't get all of it, but it's a start!

Day 10.

26 September 2014.

I'm not sure I have the energy for an explanation today.  My body aches (and not in a flu kind of way).  I feel like I've walked a million miles.  My Fitbit says I've stepped 37,321 times since Tuesday (Sunday and Monday the battery was dead...).  That's actually a lot for me, I am usually a few thousand steps short of my 10,000 step goal each day.  This week I've been short by a couple hundred steps each night.  My feet are swollen, and my ankles are doing something weird and I can't stand on my tip-toes.  My ribs hurt, my back aches.  But I painted a deck today.  And managed to feed the kids.  I almost left one at school, but didn't!  I saw my husbands face for the first time in 10 days and I seem to be holding down the fort (and making it a little more spiffy even!).  Happy Mama.  Tired.  But happy.

Day 9.

25 September.

I don't remember growing up planning my wedding like so many other little girls.  I didn't even really have a big enough wedding that required much planning when I did get married.  I knew really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I couldn't focus on it.  It seemed either so far off it wasn't possible and could never exist, or I just knew there were so many possibilities and I knew I would change so much between now and then that it wasn't worth worrying about now.  I'll never know, and I don't need to.  But those memories of what I thought I wanted to be or who I thought I was seem so fresh, like it really was just yesterday.  But then I run through the events on the timeline of life and years and years go by...and I am then looking in the mirror at this:

I don't know how it happened.  I don't know why it happened.  But it did, and it's beautiful.  It floors me just about every time I look at them.  We miss you Dad!  Thank you for the best two parts of my life :)

Day 8.

I remember, during one of the many many many camping trips as a child hearing for the first time about the Northern Lights.  The Aurora Borealis.  Maybe it wasn't my first time, I'm not even sure how old I was at the time, but I remember looking up at the sky longing to see them.  I didn't even know what I was looking for.  I think it all started with a story from my Dad about the first time he saw them, or his Dad saw them...that detail eludes me.  But here I am some years later, in a corner of the Earth that sees them on a regular basis.  I will say, the first day I "chased" them and found myself face to face with a large open sky 180 degrees from the East horizon to the West horizon, I was floored.  I had no idea anything could look like that, so effortless, yet powerful, unpredictable, but you can still sense the anticipation as they grow in intensity across the sky.  Very very early this morning, around 2am to be exact I caught the last tail end of a magnificent show.  And I was tickled pink that I was able to see it all from my driveway :)

 
I had to go back and dig out my photos from that night over 2 years ago...I had no idea what settings to use, I didn't have a tripod, so these are shot from the hood of my car propped up by books :)

Just too cool :) Huh?