Day 294 Aug.7 2011

I don't even remember what I did today.  My mind is stuck on the last 3 hours...we had a prayer vigil for a soldier that is very seriously injured and it didn't go well.  I was very disappointed in the Chaplain and how he led the service - or didn't lead it I should say.  He made it clear that he didn't understand why the family would want to talk to him, he didn't know them.  He read one psalm and attempted one prayer with his own words.  It was heartbreaking.  The wife of the soldier asked her friend to organize this vigil and the friend was glad the spouse wasn't there, it was embarrassing. 

I've felt pretty inadequate and un-needed as a FRG leader these last 10 months.  Not quite sure what came over me, but I approached the family friend and offered help.  I told her I was very close with a lot of the women in the PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) group and I know they would be more than happy to help out and lead another prayer service later in the week.  She seemed grateful for the offer, so when I got home Erin made some phone calls for me and I think we have a plan of attack.  If the friend wants to try again, we will.  This time in the chapel with child care and someone who will lead a good 30 min of prayer and not force people to pray out loud if they aren't comfortable with it.  We're also looking into setting up a more regular service for our units Spouses for the remainder of the deployment.  If we're lucky we won't have any more specific soldiers to add to the list...

Sigh...before all of this, I did something I'm not sure I've really done before.  At least with any success...

I started the grill and grilled myself a steak. 

Seems silly yes, but one of my many fears is that the grill is going to explode on me.  Gas makes me uneasy.  I don't like it's flammability...I mean, I appreciate what it can do, I love me some grilled food, but I also prefer to keep my distance.  Well.  After 10 months I decided I should probably learn to get over this fear, and I lit the grill.  Keep in mind the ignition button doesn't work, so you have to actually hold flame to the burners...I know, not that tricky, but it adds to the unease in my mind.  Anyway, the whole process was very much a success, thankfully :)