Day 365 Oct.17 2011

Well, the 17th was day 365.  I would like to say that I waited to post the last blog on purpose, but I won't lie.  Having another person in the house to consider and take account of is rather distracting for me.  I'm not worried that I won't adjust, but it took more than 5 days for it to happen :).

Anyway, today is the 24th of October, and we are a full week past day 365.  It is also the first day I've had back to myself since he's been home.  And now that I've had my alone time that disappeared over night two weeks ago, I realize it is very necessary for my ability to function at the level I was during the deployment.  Since Chad's been home, I am forgetful and (compared to last month) not very productive.  These are not bad things given the circumstance.  I knew there would be that "period of adjustment" everyone kept talking about, and I expected it to be very different from what I had been used to even back before the deployment.

The key to enjoying your "adjustment period" is to,
1) not have set expectations (weird, I've never said that before...)
2) allow yourself a 5-10 day period where nothing really matters.

I won't explain 1)-I think that is a dead horse, and I don't like to beat animals.
I will however delve into concept 2)...
These are simple things, but ones easily overlooked or not considered.
-Don't plan any big parties where you will feel the need to have yourself organized, and tidy.  You will stress yourself out to the extreme.  Especially if you are someone that has slight OCD tendencies.
-If you don't talk to the friends you "lived" with during the deployment during those first 10 days...it's okay, they understand, don't feel like a horrible person for not including them, or forgetting to call them back.
-Don't rush anything.  There is no time limit anymore.  He's not leaving in 15 days like he did last time.  You don't have to cram in your thoughts and activities.  He'll have the opportunity to see all the things you did  over the last year, or try the new meals you planned for him, don't overwhelm yourself (or your bank account).
-Yes this is a celebration, to be back together in the same house (now for a minimum of 19 months no matter what unit you go to!!!), but you still have to be practical and logical.

When you come out of your 10 day adjustment period, you can begin to look at how to mesh your worlds again.  In the last 10 days you would have hashed out some major issues (if you were both honest with yourselves) and you can now look at what that means for the rest of your lives.  If that's finding a new food routine or finding out how to live with PTS symptoms.

With Chad back to work, I've had my free time to explore the input he gave me on the new topics I brought to the home during the deployment.  It's starting to seem a little bit more real that maybe he is staying this time.  These were the days I dreamed about, not the 24 hours of uninterrupted time together, it was having our routine back, waiting for him in our Home when he got back from work, cooking the whole family dinner while Dad and Daughter played in the backyard.

I'm not saying we are back to perfect, who's to say we will ever be perfect...we are human.  But we ran our marathons and completed them without any major issues.  Cheers to us!  And thank you to every single friend or family member or complete stranger that said a prayer, or sent a supportive thought our way.  If I keep going this is going to start sounding really cliche.  The little things are really what got me through this last year, I may not have mentioned it at the time, but it never went unnoticed by myself or Chad.

When I come up with another blog, I'll check back in here and let everyone know.  I feel as if I can't blog without a specific purpose (and what our family does on the weekends, isn't a focused enough topic for me to blog), so when that purpose presents itself, you all will be the first to know :)  I'll gladly take suggestions too!